Stress and the holidays often go hand-in-hand, and preparing for a large gathering is one of the most stressful holiday events. From planning the meal to coordinating the décor, the multiple steps in orchestrating a successful holiday party can take their toll on any host. With a little planning and some expert advice, however, holiday gatherings, large or small, can be a success.

“Not having a plan is the biggest stressor,” says Kathi Burns, founder of Add Space to Your Life, a San Diego County event planner and board-certified professional organizer, “but having a plan and being organized is going to decrease your stress levels.”

The Menu

When time is at a premium, as it is around the holidays, good organizational skills and a step-by-step approach are a must. Burns suggests beginning with the menu.

“Brainstorm about what to serve. Look through your recipes and look through magazines. Take into consideration family traditions, individual favorite foods, guests’ allergies, and realistically how much time you’re going to have to prepare all of this. Then narrow the menu down,” says Burns, who advises planning the food list and sending invitations six to eight weeks before the big day.

“Choose menu items that complement each other in color, texture, temperature and taste. When you have everything laid out, you want it all to look great together,” she says, emphasizing the need for variety.

Shopping and Serving

Once the menu is set, make a shopping list. Burns recommends planning four to six appetizers and the recommended serving size of four ounces of meat per person.

A buffet is often less stressful than a formal dinner party. If planning a buffet, be sure to add to the shopping list disposable items such as cups, plates, bowls and utensils as well as paper napkins and tablecloths.

“If you want to go even more informal,” says Burns, “you can go the potluck route, where everyone brings their own special item. At the bare minimum, everyone can bring whatever dessert items they’ve made, like their favorite cookies.”

Shortcut to China

“If you’re having a buffet, informal plastic ware—as long as it’s good, sturdy plastic ware—is fine,” Burns says, “but for a more formal dinner, you have to break out the china.”

Using formal dinnerware means setting aside additional time and energy to wash, dry, polish and store the china and silver. To cut down on preparation and cleanup, consider renting china from a party supplier.

“All the host has to do is put the pieces of china in the plastic racks provided after the party. You don’t even have to rinse. The next day, the rental company comes by and hauls them off and cleans them,” says Burns.

Seating

Along with fancy dinnerware, formal get-togethers may require the host to consider where to place guests.

“The number one rule is let people sit where they want,” says Burns.

She feels that guests tend to be happier and the host less stressed if individuals are allowed to sit where they are most comfortable.

“But if I do go the formal route,” she says, “as the hostess I’m going to sit closest to the exit because I will be getting up and [sitting] down all night.”

Burns says traditional seating arrange-ments call for placing the head of the household at one end of the table and the eldest member of the gathering at the other end.

Music

Holiday music is a must for a party this time of year, says Burns, as long as the host considers the activities surrounding the music.

“If you’re doing a dinner party, jazz, classical, or soft New Age—ambience music—is good because people can still talk and the music is relaxing. Avoid music with lyrics during dinner,” she says.

A favorite of Burns’s is the classic A Charlie Brown Christmas by Vince Guaraldi. Other popular instrumental artists include Kenny G, Stephen Cohn, Mannheim Steamroller and collections by Windham Hill.

Decorating

As with music, colors help to set the mood of the party.

“Coloring is very important for your décor; it sets the theme. And if decorations are more harmoniously decked out with your linens and napkins and other things, it’s a much more sophisticated affair—even if you’re just using paper,” says Burns, who has been featured in segments on local television and ABC-TV’s Good Morning America, as well as in national publications such as Better Homes and Gardens.

So as not to alienate guests of different faiths than the host family, consider a neutral color scheme.

“Gold is my stand-by,” says Burns. “You need to keep in mind who is showing up and go with gold and silver or gold and purples.”

Cleanup

One of the least anticipated aspects of hosting a holiday party is the cleanup, but good organization—and a kid or two—can ease the struggle.

“Hire the kids in advance,” says Burns. “Tell them that while you’re mingling with guests, they can clean up and you’ll pay them afterward.”

Also consider using disposable dinnerware and linens or hiring a party rental company to handle not only the china detail, but the seating setup and take down, too.

Holiday Planning 101

Burns, author of Master Your Muck: Create Space, Organize and Live Your Passion, (available in early 2009), considers a list-keeping binder the most essential tool to a successful holiday gathering.

“The holiday binder is prime because as you create lists like whom you’re inviting and what you’re serving, you can check it off the list. It also holds recipes of your favorite holiday foods. I was always scrambling until I did this,” she says.

The binder is a simple, three-ring school staple with plastic inserts for each section. Individual sections can contain lists for gift ideas, gifts given and received, Christmas card lists, receipts for purchases, gift tags, lists of items purchased for the kids (and where they are hidden) and favorite recipes.

Planning ahead will eliminate surprises, including the embarrassment of receiving an unexpected gift.

Burns wraps inexpensive items and keeps them in a basket by her front door. “You never know who you’re going to get gifts from, so if you give a gift to everyone on the way out of the party, you’re covered.”

Gift ideas include five-dollar items such as candles, potholders and decorative wine corks. Gift cards to coffee or smoothie shops also are appreciated.

For those who prefer their gifts to be more personal, Burns suggests filling a basket with unwrapped items, such as ornaments, and allowing the guests to choose what they like.

Everyone will leave happy and your party will be a success.v

© 2008 Rosemarie B. Leenerts.This article may not be reproduced in whole or in part without prior written permission of the author, Rosemarie B. Leenerts ([email protected])

Rosemarie Leenerts is a San Diego freelance writer and mother of four who could have used Kathi Burns’s advice a time or two when planning past holiday gatherings (just ask her family).