Recently I had a golden opportunity to collaborate with a group of talented professionals during a seminar geared for women facing divorce. As you probably know, clutter has a few best friends and one of it’s closest allies is divorce. So it makes great sense to post this article to you, my readers. Many of my clients are up against this challenge as I write this post.
Remember, no matter what type of trauma you face in life, you are never truly alone! There are professionals like myself and Laura that are here to serve and help you rebuild your life after you experience big setbacks.
“We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.” Aneurin Bevan
Could there be a time in a woman’s life that she is more likely to be paralyzed by chaos than during a divorce? Perhaps, but if you are in the midst of a divorce you are likely nodding your head in a way that says: “wow! I have never been this overwhelmed and disorganized, NEVER!!”
And then your “I can’t” thoughts start to take hold of your head and the nod of agreement quickly turns into a sideways twist, twist, twist, as you say to yourself “. . . No way! I’ve got things to do!! I don’t have time to organize my life. I’m just trying to survive it!! And you stop imagining the bliss of returning to a clean home and resume your anxious search for that document you know you put somewhere, while the clock exclaims: “you’re late! Again! Hurry!!”
Well you are not alone, but just because misery loves company, doesn’t mean you’re going to feel better hanging out with it!
As a divorce Coach I have the opportunity to be an “Agent of Change.” But I also know that before I can hope to help you create lasting change you have to believe that an expenditure of money or time, or even some of both will bring you so much value that you feel compelled to take action.
Okay, I know you’re busy, running late, can’t recall the last time you had a restorative sleep so I’ll just get to the point. Clutter, hoarding, and disorganization will bury your best intentions alive! A person who stashes and hoards and refuses to let go of the stuff is operating on with one or more of these assumptions:
1. I need this stuff because it says something about me. (translation: I need to obtain your approval to feel worthy)
2. I live in a world of lack, and if I don’t hang on to this stuff it will never come again. (Translation: I need it for my security, I am not capable of providing)
3. It’s my stuff and I’m doing it my way. (Translation: I m not interested in what might be best for me I’m only interested in staying in control so back off!!)
When you make space in your life, you make space for real change, new beginnings, peace, growth, and harmony. Try this “pro pro” test as a way of beginning. Ask yourself: “what are the pros of keeping this in my life? And “what are the pro’s of removing this from my life?”
If you find yourself clinging to the stuff, ask yourself a few more questions: is my fear of letting go coming from a lack or need for: approval, security or control? And could I let that go? Would I let that go? And then finally: “when?”
Don’t expect you will be able to do this alone, take off your cape, sit down, take a breath and call an agent of change. You are not alone any more.
Laura McGee
www.LeaveStrong.com
www.Facebook.com/LeaveStrong
Laura McGee is a divorce Coach who supports women at every stage of their divorce process.
