How to work through the transitions in your life with Adele Bernard

Kathi: Hi everyone, this is Kathi with Organized and Energized! The Podcast. You are here because you're interested in becoming clear. And today we're going to talk about transitioning with clarity and purpose: how to transition more effectively. We have a transition clarity coach, Adele Bernard, and she's joining us right now. I would like you to welcome her to the show. Hi, Adele.

Adele: Hi. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

Kathi: Absolutely. I'm very excited about this whole topic, of course, because I like clarity, and I always work with people in transition. We're going to put a new spin on it and learn a little bit more about how you work spiritually with transitions, and how to help people become more clear-minded and probably less fearful of it. How did you start doing this, Adele? How did you come upon becoming a transition clarity coach?

Adele: I was very young. I was three years old when I was given the gift. I didn't understand it. I didn't have anyone to talk about it with. But I knew I could see things. I could feel things. I could sense things in people's homes and every place that I was. And from that, I've grown into this. I've been guided to do this. About 25 years ago, I actually started working with people's homes and helping them to clear the energetic clutter, so they could have an oasis to support them, to nurture them, and so that people went on holidays because they chose to have a different view, not because they were running away from it.

Kathi: That's interesting. A lot of people do have psychic abilities at the age of three, and then they just wash away. I think we all do when we're youngsters, because we're tapped into source. But for you to continue on with it… So you probably set it aside, and then at the age of 25 you started working with it, or…

Adele: Well, I never set it aside. I had always had that inkling, that knowing of things. And then people would say, well, how do you know? I just know. I don't have to explain it. I just know. And then they go, well, we're not believing you. I go, too bad for you. And sometimes I struggled with it: is this a gift? Because sometimes you see the bad things coming and you're like, oh, well, I don't want that to happen. But that's inevitable. So for me, it was more of understanding that I love my home, no matter if it was a little room or a big room, whatever. I always found that that was my sanctuary, my safe space, my place that I came to let all the burdens of the day go. But when we do that, all that gets stuck in the walls, the carpet, the bed, the whatever. And so I realized, working with my guide, that needs to be cleared out every once in a while. And then I also realized that you go for a massage. You're going to treat yourself. You're going to do that self-care. Within 20 minutes of walking into the house, with all the stress in the house, good, bad or indifferent, your shoulders are back in your ears and you're going, well, that was a waste of money going for the massage. And now, thinking about the holidays coming up, the tension that the family gatherings can have, but you've got to have them because, well, it's Thanksgiving or it's Christmas or it's whatever. So clear the energy, so no one can come into your home with those… well, I'm going to fight with Aunt Sally today. No, they just can't come in the home. And once they do come in the home, that's washed away.

Kathi: That's really quite interesting that you say that. I don't think people think about it. We think about feng shui, we think about the bagua, but we don't think about the actual energy within the walls itself. And I've never considered the fact that, okay, I get my massage, I get all relaxed, and then I come home, and if my home carries some vibrations, the therapy's null and void. I've never even thought about that. It does make total sense, but again, I don't think it's at the top of our minds when we do that. So are you saying that if you clear the energy within a house, say you're doing the Thanksgiving thing… we have all these holidays, and I'm not sure when this is going to be released, hopefully before the holidays are over. But anytime you're doing any type of gathering, what you're saying is that you can clear out the energy so that no bad juju can enter?

Adele: Well, yeah. Or take it a different way. I had clients that were on the verge of divorce. They were running parallel rather than together. And when I started working with them, I said, okay, let's just start with the house. Let's clear the energy of the house, so you're starting fresh on a playing field. Then that's when the coaching will come in, after. Because if you're starting on two different playing fields, the communication is never going to happen. I'm not saying that having a clearing in your house means you're not going to go to divorce, but you're going to be a heck of a lot more amicable. Because you know what? There's a time, a reason, a season for everything. If your time has run out for that relationship, it's run out. But let's make it more amicable. Let's make it on the same playing field. Let's make it that instead of thinking about all the hurts you've had over the last 10 years and why you're getting divorced, it's why you got together in the first place and chose to marry.

Let's just start with the house.

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Kathi: So you think clearing out the energy of their space… which is interesting, because that's what I do. I always start with the energetics of the space before any type of deep inner work. How does that help them get on a more level playing field? What is that?

Adele: The gunk on the walls that you've thrown at each other gets dissipated.

Kathi: Okay.

Adele: The gunk from a new build isn't going to affect your home, because you're cleansing the land. You're regridding the land for your energy. Think about a realtor trying to sell a house, trying to sell a house, trying to sell a house. Every person that walks in is feeling whatever the people that are trying to move and sell have left. The energy. And then they go, oh, I can feel myself in this house. They talk about staging, and it helps, but people will feel the energy.

Kathi: Yeah. Every single thing in the world carries energy. A piece of paper carries energy. I'm all about the energetics of your stuff. I think that everything in your life needs to give you more energy than what it takes, and that's a big proponent of what I do as a professional organizer. Do you find that people understand that whenever you speak with them? I guess by the time they hire you, they've already understood the whole concept.

Adele: Correct. Well, yes and no. I've worked with a lot of single moms, and they're like, the monsters in the closets and the monsters under the bed have to go. And I go, well, they're not monsters. Because your child is closer to spirit. Spirit goes to the first person that they can attach to, to get a message through. The kids don't know that this is great-grandpa, but you would know it's grandpa. So I always caution parents especially: don't discount it when your kid is saying something, because to them it's real. To me, it's real. You might not be able to see it. You might not be able to hear it, but they hear it. They see it.

Kathi: Yeah. I have definitely had real-life familial experiences around that myself. And that's the good and the bad. Children are so open and receptive. They're not the naysayers. They're like, oh, it is real, I see it, because the imagination's still there. They're still very much tapped into spirit. I love that. So who is your ideal client, Adele? Why do the majority of the people contact you and call you, and who are they?

Adele: A lot of people trying to sell their home. They want the best value for the dollar, which is understandable. Parents, because their kid's not sleeping, or they're older and they're not going in the right way, they're going down a dark path, and they don't know what to do. And so I offer a gentle solution to a deeper problem: that maybe I can help that child just by clearing the space of their room, so that they can open up, so that they can say, yeah, maybe I'm not doing the right thing, but I don't know what else to do, because of peer pressure. Basically, anyone who is looking for a different way to handle a situation that they've been in for a long time.

Kathi: Yeah. To break that pattern.

Adele: And it's even businesses, too. Do you have the right people working for you? Do you still have passion for your business? A lot of people are just doing it because that's what they've been doing for 20 years.

Kathi: Gee, girl, you did the perfect transition, because I was just going to start talking to you about being entrepreneurs.

Adele: Well, no, but right. So you've been doing this entrepreneurship for 20 years. Did you get the staff, or whatever? And you're going, well, Sally's just not doing her job anymore. What's going on in her home life? And they're going, no, we're feeding off the boss, who's lost passion for what he does. Is it important for him to step back and maybe put someone else in that position? Maybe. Or maybe sell it altogether. Or bring the team together and say, okay, I've lost my mojo. Be honest.

Kathi: Yeah.

Adele: And that's the biggest thing I can say to anyone that is wanting a true transition. It's even like finding a massage therapist. Not everyone is for everybody. Could I help some of your clients? Sure. Could you help some of my clients? Sure. But are we meant for everybody? No. And that's why we're all unique, and that's why we're all here.

Kathi: Yeah. That's the beauty of it. And I love that you were talking about the transitions. A lot of people have lost their mojo. It happened to me. I was Add Space to Your Life for, what was it, 17 years, and then COVID hit, and I'm like, oh, I just don't have it anymore. And then I had to reinvent, and I reinvented as Organized and Energized. And you know why I did that? For me. I added the energized for me. And then I got my mojo back. Don't you think that something as simple as words also helps, because words have energy as well?

Adele: Absolutely. The words are exactly where it starts, and it's a piling on of words and words and words for years and years and years. And it's also the words not even spoken. For instance, the child is going to come home from school and will feel the parents fighting about him or her before they even walk in the door. So the conversation is shut down before he gets in the door, and he goes to his room, or her, and says, well, it's not safe for me to talk to these people, because they can't even talk to each other. And the kid knows it even before he walks in.

The words are exactly where it starts.

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Kathi: I totally get you.

Adele: And I have a personal example with my niece. She was missing her dad. He does have a stressful job, and all of a sudden he's just like, oh, just give me a minute. And she said, Daddy, my time with you. One little sentence, and he's like, you're right.

Kathi: Yeah. It's interesting. Whenever I organize families and I'm working on the family schedule, I am always putting in one-on-one. This is daddy and daughter day. This is daddy and son day. This is mom and daughter day. They have to have that one-on-one connection. And I think that's where a lot of families lose it. They think they do group outings, and the group outings are going to… No, these people need the one-on-one. Again, it's the energetics of that communication between them that doesn't happen in a group setting.

Adele: Well, and here are another couple of examples. I knew people that would take each child out separately to their favorite thing. One loved Dairy Queen. That was their thing. They went for an ice cream cone. I can't remember what the other one was, but they had their own special thing with mom and dad, separately. And another one, to help the gunk not go on the walls, is book time with your husband to cover what's going on with the kids, what's going on with the house, what's going on with the car. Don't just fly by as he's busy doing something: oh, we need to talk, and start talking. They can't focus, and you can't get mad at them for not focusing, because you never asked them to. But if you say, I need 20 minutes of your time, can you let me know when? And they go, yeah, give me an hour. Great. You had that time. And I remember talking to someone. This was crazy. Her husband said he wouldn't go on holidays with her anymore. She's like, what are you talking about? I'm your wife. And he goes, because she brought all the conversations for the last six months that the house was needing and put it on the beach. Because it's not fun. I'm not leaving my house to discuss it on the beach. And so that's what I'm saying about making your house your oasis. Set the time weekly, whatever, to have those conversations. What's going on with Johnny? What's going on with Sally? What's going on with us? What car has to go in? What's going on with the house? Have that weekly. It could be a five-minute conversation. It could be an hour conversation, but set the time aside every week. Then when you leave your oasis, because you've handled everything at home, you go on the vacation and you actually get it.

Kathi: Yeah. Wow. We run such parallel businesses in completely different ways. I'm always like, okay, let's have family meetings on Sunday night. Let's go through all of what's going to happen for the following week every Sunday night. We can have prizes and all that good stuff, and everybody knows who's going where, what and the other. And also schedule date nights. Date nights where the parents are away from the kiddos are so very important as well, because then they come home all revitalized and renewed, and they walk into the home and the home goes, mom and dad are happy. They just had a night out, and they lost the worries of the world, of the kiddos in the home, and all that good stuff. So that's interesting.

Adele: It's even like, don't even worry about a date night. Get the neighborhood kid to come over for an hour so you can go for a walk without the kids. Don't make it this big thing that's so hard to accomplish. Get away from the kids, the two of you. The kids have been added. It's not the kids and then the rest of the world.

Kathi: Yeah. So let's talk about entrepreneurship a little bit. How did you launch your business? Because I know there are a lot of people that listen to this podcast that are the psychic intuitives, the spiritual-minded people. How did you start launching your business, and how did it work? What did you do to actually be who you are right now as a clarity mind coach?

Adele: Well, it's funny, because it started unbeknownst to me. Seriously. People would be like, well, you're interesting. Can we have a discussion? I go, sure. Then it's like, can you come to my house? I go, sure. Then they'd be like, we've got to give you some money. And I go, all right. And next thing I know, those people, because it was so organic, would start referring me out. And I'd be like, hm, this is interesting. Because I was in a full-time job. I had no intention of doing it. So this is my fun. And just like the podcast, I had no intention of doing that either, but okay, I'm having fun. So it became so organic that now I'm doing a full restructure for 2024, rebuilding what I'm planning out, and I'm like, wow, I've never done this for this company. I just allowed. As I clear my space, more is allowed in. As I keep on meeting more people, more is allowed in.

As I clear my space, more is allowed in.

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Kathi: That's so important. So important. That was the premise of my first company, Add Space to Your Life. If you don't have space, you can't thrive. If you don't have space, new things can't enter your life.

Adele: For sure. And we've talked about that, because I said I was tired of moving the bookshelves every house. So I just went: I'm online. I get it from the library. I send it back. There's no clutter in my brain. Oh, finish that book. Gone. Where the clutter comes is when I'm like, oh, that was a great book. Kathi would be really good for this book. And then I can't remember the book. Whatever.

Kathi: Exactly. Exactly. Because you're taking on the responsibility to move it forward to someone else, and then you get stopped. This happens all the time with my clients. They totally organize. They throw everything in the garage because they want it to go to that certain specific person, and then that never happens. All they did was move the clutter from their bedroom into the garage. It doesn't even matter. There's no flow.

Adele: And you're assuming that person wants your clutter.

Kathi: Exactly.

Adele: And so I had friends that were like, oh, we're going antique shopping. And I go, careful who you're bringing home with you. And they'd be like, pardon? I go, oh, antiques hold a lot of imprints.

Kathi: I was thinking that same thing. Watch out what you bring into the house, girl, because you never know what's in that lamp. I agree. Now, are there things that people can do? Say you find this lamp. Is there something that you would recommend they do before they bring it into the house, to maybe sanctify it or purify it? Is there a quick little thing that people can do?

Adele: It's even like, we take showers every day. So it's the same thing with anything coming into your home. Hold it, take your hand and go, I'm cleansing everything that is no longer wanted and needed on this as it enters my home.

Kathi: That's brilliant. And I think that's why a lot of people like to take off their shoes when they first enter their house.

Adele: I don't understand people that walk around their house in their shoes. I'm like, that's been everywhere on the ground. Gross. And it's really funny, because I have family down in California, and they said, well, maybe it's the weather thing. And I'm like, no, it's not. It's a disgusting thing.

Kathi: Well, you're more aware of the energetics of things. A lot of people are not.

Adele: Your house gets dirty enough. I don't want to bring the bottoms of my shoes from outside into my house, into my carpet, into my floors. No thanks. That's just a cleanly thing.

Kathi: Yeah. Tell me a story about the most memorable thing that you've done in your career. A client you can think of where your work really had a huge impact.

Adele: I always go back to the kids, because they're just the most genuine. They don't understand what's going on. They're trying to help their parents and explain it, but in their vocabulary they don't know how. And then when you see the whole family just relieved, especially with, not even little kids, the teenagers that are going down the wrong path, and you're just like, well, let's try this, or let's… and then they're just overjoyed, and they know that our work together has saved them, saved their child, saved the marriage. That brings me the most joy. Because I'm always for the underdog. I was that kid that just didn't speak, and if I did speak, no one was listening anyways. Yet I could see and feel things, and I'd be like, oh, they could just understand. And growing up, I also had those parents where, if I was going, they were allowed to go. My friends were allowed to go to whatever we were going to because their parents trusted me. And so I had that dichotomy of, am I the child or am I the parent? I want to be the child, but the parents won't let me be the child. And so I'll always find the underdog of the child. But those parents are usually the hardest to get to understand, because they've gone through so much and nothing has worked. And that's why my biggest thing is saying, I'll hold you. I'll hold the space for you. There's never pressure to work with me. I'll hold the space as long as you need the space.

I'll hold the space for you. There's never pressure to work with me.

Kathi: And that's why you were always the girl where, okay, you can go if she's going, because you held the space of responsibility. You held the space of, well, the spacekeeper, the person who's balanced. She's the balanced one of all you teenagers.

Adele: Well, and it's funny, because when you go into the native totem pole, I'm the brown bear, the mama bear, as my main one. And then I have the blue whale that goes into the darkest depths of where you don't want to go. So yeah, I go there, too. But I'm also the eagle who sees all.

Kathi: So you combine the three, from the deepest of the ocean to the highest of the skies, cuddled in a bear. That's nice. I love that.

Adele: A safe place to feel secure in going forward through that transition, no matter how hard it's going to be.

Kathi: I love it. If you could look back on your younger self, your 18-year-old, what would you tell her? Is there anything that you would tell her that might help her back then, that you know now?

Adele: To trust in myself, to trust in my guides, to trust in my knowing. To speak, even though people might not want to hear what I want to say. They might need it three, four, five times, but that's okay. Just be gentle. Share.

Kathi: Yeah. And I think at 18 we never really trust fully in what we're thinking anyhow, because we're still in that development, unsure phase of who we really are. So I think that's really good. Just trust. Trust is a good thing. So if someone wants to reach out to you, do you have a free resource that you could provide to them, or any way that they can get in touch with you if they're interested in this topic and feel like they need your help?

Adele: Well, I do have a free 30-minute consultation. No questions. They can get to me through transitionclarity.com, and we'll have a discussion. If I'm not your person, that's okay. Maybe somebody I know in my Rolodex is your person, and they'll refer you to who the best fit is. But I also know that 99.9% of the time, people who call me are meant to be. They won't show up in front of me unless they're meant to. And that's even for referrals. I really have no expectations. I'm here as a conduit of the light. If my light is to shine you to a different path, then that's what I'll do. If it's to shine you to your path and to find your beautiful nuggets that you're scared to bring out to the world, then we'll do that, too. If anything, what I've learned from the last couple of years, of people taking a step back and re-evaluating and wondering what they're going to do going forward, is that they have nuggets in themselves that they've been scared to bring out. And I'm saying now is the time to step up like we've never stepped up before, to shine our lights, to bring those little nuggets out and to be exactly who you were meant to be.

Kathi: Yeah. Your divine individuation, because we're all unique. We all have that special thing that only we can give. And I love that. I love knowing that. I love feeling that. And I totally agree. By the time people choose to work with me, it's their choice. They don't come forward unless they're ready to make change. And the same thing with you. No one's going to come forward to you unless they're ready to get clear-minded about whatever it is.

Adele: And the thing is, somebody might come to me, we start clearing their space and clearing the gunk and getting there, and then they go, we have too much stuff. And I'm like, well, now you can call Kathi.

Kathi: Exactly. Or I personally get to a point where I clear all their stuff in there, and I'm like, it still feels weird in here. Ah, we need a cleansing, an overall cleansing. My little sage and palo santo is not happening here. You've got too much on your walls.

Adele: And it's interesting that you're saying that about the sage and palo santo, because I can work anywhere in the world, as long as they can phone me. Zoom is preferable, because then I can see what they're talking about. But as long as they have a phone, I can work.

Kathi: I love it. Love it. That answered another question. You can help anybody in the world as long as they have a phone. Is Zoom better than a phone for you, or does it not matter?

Adele: Zoom. If they use Zoom on their phone, then they can take me around their house, so I can actually see the physical space. But pictures work also. And then I can also see the body language that's going on, because your body will hold the house stuff.

Kathi: Yes.

Adele: That's what people don't understand. So that's the one thing that I want to stress the most. No matter what it is in your life, your child's life, your house, whatever, when it's ready to release, you will be in front of the right person to release it. Whether that's me, whether it's you, whether it's Timmy, whatever, you will be ready to release it.

When it's ready to release, you will be in front of the right person to release it.

Kathi: Yeah. The people show up. The people show up every single time. And you know the motto: when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Adele: Absolutely. Absolutely.

Kathi: And that's part of why I do my podcast and why you do your podcast, because the guests that show up for me are who my people need to hear from. That's the way I look at it. Whoever my audience is, whatever we're talking about, if they tune into that particular podcast, that's who they need to hear. That's the message that they need to receive. And that's the beauty of life, anyhow. I love the whole fact that that happens, and I love the whole fact that we can both acknowledge that and we both understand that, and I know that the people listening know the same thing.

Adele: Yes. Yes. Well, it was just like, I met a young fellow, and we were in a three-way call, and he goes, oh, I think I need both of you. And I started laughing, and I said, but we need you. He goes, how could you need me? And I said, because the artists of the world are bringing us forward into this new world. We are following you. And he goes, whoa. He's young. So he's like, yeah, I think I've got to sit with that one. I go, yeah, do, because the artists are the ones, coming out of COVID, they're the ones that started saying, no, I've got to paint. I've got to put color. And they started dancing in the music. And you're like, oh, we're allowed to. We're allowed to come out. And then it made all of us go, oh, okay, well, we have to bring our own art back into the world. And that's what kind of spurred me into saying, re-evaluate 2024, because we're on a whole new playing field for business, for clients. So yeah, it's been a fun deep dive.

Kathi: Yeah. I'm so excited about the whole transition that the whole world is going through. We needed the kick in the butt. We needed the big COVID thing to happen. We needed that wake-up to get back to your thing, clarity. We all transitioned, and we all did become more clear. And so what I would say to anybody listening to this podcast: if you feel like you need more clarity and you feel like you are transitioning, because I guarantee you we're all still transitioning, we still have that ripple effect of what's happening in our life. We've stepped over the line.

Adele: Yeah. Well, I don't think we're babies even crawling yet. We know we are babies. We know that we have fingers and toes and we're going goo-goo gaga, but I don't even think we're in the crawling stage. But that's okay. We're aware. We're awake. We're moving forward.

Kathi: Yeah. And that's what it's all about. And if you need help moving forward… Give me the link again, or say it out, where they're going to go.

Adele: Transitionclarity.com is my website. Transition Clarity. And there's a call button all over the page that will give you a free 30 minutes. I look forward to anyone that comes from the show.

Kathi: I look forward to it. And I really appreciate you coming on the show. It's just amazing how we are very much parallel in what we do, in completely different modalities. That's the beauty of the world, and that's the beauty of why we're here together speaking. So thank you, Adele. I really appreciate it. Everybody, if you feel something really weird in your house or in your life or in your car, just call on Adele. Have a conversation for 30 minutes, and she'll probably say, oh, it could be this, let's do a little clearing here.

Adele: Yeah, have at it.

Kathi: So thank you, Adele. I really appreciate your time, and I look forward to seeing what happens with you in 2024. I will be watching.

Adele: Thanks, Kathi.

Kathi: Okay, take care.