Connecting Deeply with Yourself and Loved Ones with Tammy J Cohen

Kathi: Hi everyone. As promised, I am back with Tammy Cohen, my girlfriend from the East Coast. She's from Manhattan. And you are going to love our topic, because we're going to talk about how to connect with your kids and tune in, tap in, turn on where they are already. So welcome, Tammy. I'm glad you're here.

Tammy: Well, I'm happy to be here, and thank you for welcoming me. And I just have to say one thing, everybody. I'm putting out a second book because I work with the best time management organizer, Kathi. I just had to say it. I was able to do a lot of different things, but also get a second book out, and it's being published very soon. So that's really cool, and thank you, Kathi. Thank you for your knowledge, your skill set, and helping me get myself more organized and getting me to this place, and for having me on.

Kathi: You are so sweet. I can't believe it, book number two.

Tammy: Yeah, we are golden.

Kathi: Talk to us a little bit about this. Well, let's talk about your journey to start out with. So what brings you to being a woman entrepreneur? I mean, you have so many irons in the fire. Give the people a little bit about your background.

Tammy: Well, okay. So basically, I have a couple of different things that I do. I'm a brand messaging consultant in the gem and jewelry space. I'm really a connector, and I work with connecting designers and clients and people who want very fine and high-end jewelry to high and fine jewelry manufacturers here. I live right near the diamond district, so that's a great thing. And I also connect brands of product, branded jewelry, gem and jewelry, with an appraisal network that I've grown worldwide, so that customers can get the correct value for their beautiful brands and pieces that they're purchasing, for insurance purposes. So that's one thing that I do. My husband and I have a restaurant on the Upper East Side of Manhattan where people come and connect with each other. Everybody comes. It's like a family atmosphere. It's been on the Upper East Side for 15 years, through the pandemic and all of New York's mismanagement, to put it mildly, and we're there. It's a great place for families, dates, friends. Everybody comes, and it's like the Cheers of the Upper East Side. So that's what I do there. And I founded a women's business network where I connect women with services, but also connect them with each other to build a community of support: non-judgmental women coming together, business owners who really leverage each other's social capital, and they're there to answer each other's questions and help each other grow to the next level. What do they want to do, and who do they want to be? It's a beautiful thing. That wound up producing a podcast called the Women Beyond the Table Podcast, where I connect audiences to women and their amazing stories. I mean, everybody's got a story in their life. They've got something to share. Everybody's been down a road that has a lot of potholes, a lot of challenges, a lot of crazy things going on. And you never know, right? You meet a person, and we all wear our masks. Everything's fine. Everything's great. This is good. I have success. You look at social media and it's all success stories, and you're not really knowing. And then you listen to somebody's story and you see everything that they've been through and gone through. And not only does it resonate, but you're also like, "Wow, if they could do this, if they could achieve, if they could find happiness and success and find themselves going through all this, I can." So that's a connection point for me, that people hear each other's stories. And then, of course, the books, Text Messages to My Sons. There was a first edition, and now the expanded edition, Text Messages to My Sons: A Guide to Using Mobile Devices to Connect and Communicate with Your Kids, is coming out at the beginning of May. And it's also about parents, and I have grandparents, loved ones, using it to connect with partners, sharing messages of love, inspiration, gratitude, appreciation, accountability, sharing wisdom, and having that connection. Because there's a lot of distraction. You know that; you're an organizer. There's so much distraction out there, and these algorithms are designed to completely engage you 24/7, so that you can't even look at anything or focus anymore. And a lot of it, unfortunately, is misinformation, indoctrination, violence, hate. I'm Jewish. It's just been a nightmare. So my attitude is, why not send that positive, higher-frequency energy of love and gratitude, which is way higher vibrating than that negative stuff, which is hate and despair and violence and anger? Why don't we do that and reach out and put that out there? Because when you release a message of love and inspiration and gratitude, you're releasing this energy, and whoever that lucky recipient is, is not only feeling connected, but they're releasing that energy too. And it becomes a big thing the more people do it. So yes, that's now my mission. I found my mission later in life, but I found it with these books.

Kathi: That's a great mission, to show love and to show other people how to show love. Talk to me about the beginnings of the book, because I think it's such an interesting topic, and it's text messages. How did that start? I know you have three sons, right? How old were they when this all started happening? What happened? You started texting them love messages? Tell me a little bit about that.

Tammy: Okay. So we all know the phone could be used for many different kinds of messages. When they were in high school and they were younger (now they're 31, 29 and 24), it was always a message that was a reminder, a reprimand or a command. Where are you? What are you doing? What do you want? What do you mean you need more money? You forgot this. I'm meeting you there. Be there. Oh my gosh. Whatever. It was never anything more than that. And then the pandemic hit and we were all shut down. So this was the end of 2020 going into 2021. I know that the pandemic was very challenging, but for me it was an awakening. Because I had been very busy running around and working and working and traveling, and I was working with clients, and then the pandemic happened. Not only did I have to stop and think, but I lost half my income overnight. So I had time, and my kids were grown. So it wasn't like those parents with kids at home trying to do this learning and keep them occupied. God bless these women. So I was like, I have time to look into myself. And Kathi, I just didn't like who I was. I didn't like the person. I wasn't happy. I had a lot of issues. I had a lot of limiting beliefs, and I knew it. And I wanted to explore, see, understand why I'm feeling the way I feel, why I'm not happy. And I started getting into this journey. I hired a life coach. I hired a business coach. And I delved into Tony Robbins and Deepak. I remember when all the riots and the protests were happening, and they were happening right here in New York City. People were breaking windows and looting, and I was just like, what is going on here? I was born in Manhattan. I woke up and all the stores were boarded. I live on 57th and Third. So Madison, everything's boarded up. The streets are boarded. What is going on? I was losing it. So out of nowhere, a work colleague who's a friend was like, "Hey, you want to join my 21-day meditation challenge?" And I was like, yeah. And he was like, "Okay, you're in." That started me on Tony Robbins, Joe Dispenza, Mindvalley. I was all over Mindvalley. I was going on their quests. I was learning from Robin Sharma. I was reading nonstop. It just opened up this flood. Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, Napoleon Hill. I was just eating things up, and I was like, "Wow, there's so much information." I looked at Marcus Aurelius and the Tao Te Ching. Because each book you read, each course, each program opens your mind up to something. So I was like, "Wow, this stuff is amazing. I want to share this with my kids, because they don't learn this stuff in school." Nobody tells you about limiting beliefs. Nobody tells you you're worthy. Nobody tells you it's going to be fine. Nobody tells you challenges are things you can learn from. One of the best pieces of advice I had gotten at that time was from a colleague who told me, "You really want to do something amazing for yourself? Listen to the commencement speeches of celebrities at colleges." So I listened to J.K. Rowling, I listened to Denzel, Will Ferrell, Tyrion from Game of Thrones. They all said the same thing: failure is okay. You learn from it. Nobody's overnight. I worked a hundred different jobs. I didn't have money to eat. I lived in a lousy apartment. I failed. I was rejected. But I got stronger and I learned. And I was like, "Wow, I have to share this with my kids." So I started messaging them this stuff. I was sharing everything, every quote. I was like, "What do you think?" But what happened was, I also wanted them to know how much I love them and how worthy they are and how extraordinary they are. I wanted them to get those messages that I never received growing up, because my household had a lot of trauma and a lot of different things going on in it. And I was like, this is what I want to do. One day I read Atomic Habits, and I realized I have to form these habits. I have to do it every day. So it became a thing that I did every day. And I'll tell you, Kathi, because you've told me this, right? How many hours do you have in the day that you're awake and functioning? Well, how can you make them more productive? So I figured out I can find 10 minutes to get this message out to them, because it's 10 minutes, and we all have a phone, and it doesn't cost anything more to send that message of love and wisdom and gratitude and accountability. But the most important thing is you have to reach kids where they're at, not where you want them to be. Now, I grew up where everything was in person. You had a conversation. They're not there. Everybody's holding a phone in their hand or their pocket or their bag. That's where they are. And I never expected a response from them. It's unconditional. Why? Because you can't, right? Sending love, you can't say, "Now I'm not going to talk to you or send you something, because you didn't tell me I love you." They're not like that. They don't tell me, "Mommy, I love you." It's not like that. So I just let it go and I just put it out there.

You have to reach kids where they're at, not where you want them to be.

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Kathi: And I bet you had amazing responses eventually from your sons. I bet you've become more of a tight-knit unit, haven't you?

Tammy: Oh my gosh. So I didn't realize the impact on them until they wrote the foreword to the book.

Kathi: What it means to them.

Tammy: Yeah. Wow. So, what it means to them to know that somebody loves them enough, somebody cares enough about them to take the time to tell them that. It makes them feel bulletproof. The day can go sideways, but they know that somebody cares, somebody loves them. And telling somebody you're extraordinary, and yeah, it's okay to fail, and you know what, you got this, it just makes them feel much better, because life is not a straight road. We all understand that. So they wrote the foreword to the book. And what happened was, I really got accountable, because you can't expect anybody to be accountable if you're not going to model it, right? I said to them, "I'm so sorry. I wasn't happy all the time. I yelled. I screamed. I reacted poorly to you. I did things that I'm not happy about. It wasn't you. I was triggered because I was in a bad place, because I came from something and I had a lot of limiting beliefs about myself, and I didn't know better. It was never you." And you know what? At that point, when I started being real and I started being authentic, I started letting them know. Not because we're best friends. I want to make it clear, we're not best friends. But I was honest. I was open with them. They saw me as a human being. And that really helped shift the relationship, because they were like, you're a human being, and they respected that I did it and that I was open. And I just hope that they can pass that on and be that authentic and open with their kids or with their loved ones or whoever they want to be, and be accountable in their lives. That's it.

You can't expect anybody to be accountable if you're not going to model it.

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Kathi: That's so important. And what a big growth spurt. I think that the pandemic did a lot of really good things as well as some crazy things, and a lot of people came out of it stronger. I know I did as well. You're reminding me of a lady named Grandma Sparky. I just spoke with her at a conference over the weekend, and she's fantastic. She runs around the world giving out stickers that say "Who I am makes a difference," and she has it point up to the sky, and she has little cheerleaders go "bing," and she gives it to everybody, and she has everybody else give these little stickers to other people. I have to connect you two. You guys are simpatico. Same message. It's like, let's show love. Let's let people know that they're not alone. Her big thing is to prevent child suicide, which is a huge thing. And just like you said, if you just let people know that they are going to stumble and fall, but everybody does, you can always get back up. And actually, that's what this podcast is designed to do, as I believe your podcast is designed to do: to let everybody know that we're not alone. And especially as women entrepreneurs, it's this "woo, really," and then crash, right? It happens. That's what business is. And that's what life is as well. So I applaud you for that. I'm so excited. Now, people can pre-order this book too, so I'm going to put the link below so you can pre-order, and then the book will be released in early May. So I'm very excited about it. I bet you when you read that foreword, it probably brought you to tears, huh?

Tammy: Yeah, it really did. Wow. I was just like, this is beautiful. They wrote it. I was just like, "Wow, you guys, I love it." And you know what's really amazing, and you know this personally: with the new book coming out, I never stopped sending messages. It's not like I wrote this book and that's it, done. No. The new edition has way more messages in it, because I've written way more since the first book came out. And I have introductions on the chapters. I have 11 chapters. Why message about gratitude and appreciation? Why message about leadership and focus? Why would you send these kinds of messages? And then reflections about what I wish for my kids, what I hope the audience who's reading the book gets out of this. And then, of course, the epilogue about the next chapters in your life, sending messages. What I learned, and this is really interesting to me because I'm on my own journey right now: I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I'm starting treatment soon. And I learned that God had me doing this, had me messaging my kids, because I was really messaging myself.

Kathi: Mm-hmm.

Tammy: I was really connecting more to myself. And I didn't realize that. I didn't set out to do that. I set out to connect to them, right? But I realize that everything I said, when you talk about resilience, when you talk about life giving you gifts (they're not challenges, they're gifts; you're going to learn from them), when you send these types of messages, it becomes real for you. You can't message that to somebody and not own it, right? So the thing I learned was, I'm connecting to myself as well. It's not just connecting to them, even though that was the goal. I messaged myself for all these years. And it's getting me through, bringing more positivity into my own journey that I'm going through. So it's very interesting. It's very powerful, and that's what I wish for people: connect. Anyway, it's amazing, because I speak with a lot of coaches and parenting coaches, and parents of 18- to 30-year-olds are reaching out for coaches. Most people think it's the little kids, but it's 18- to 30-year-olds. Because when you talk about what this wonderful grandma is doing, suicide, this is the group that's suicidal, depressed, with addiction problems. Why? There's disconnection. It's like 40% of young adults say they feel disconnected from their families. They are disconnected because they're electronic, right? So there's no inner voice. You have to use that device, the opposite, to catch them, because nobody's going to sit down and have a conversation. If I want my kids to talk to me, I have to text them.

You can't message that to somebody and not own it.

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Kathi: Yeah. "Please, please call me."

Tammy: Yeah.

Kathi: And then they probably text back and say, "I'll call you later." Or you're like, "Hey, show up for dinner at such and such a time." And then you can actually get FaceTime, right?

Tammy: I'm like, can you please give me five minutes?

Kathi: Yeah. It reminds me, the 18- to 30-year-olds. Gosh, I didn't realize what the pandemic did to the kids who were graduating high school, starting college. One of my clients had a really, really hard decision: do I send my son to college, or do I keep him at home because of the pandemic? Well, she sent him to college, but they all were in lockdown. It was freshman year, 2020, right? They were all in lockdown. So they were isolated in their own dorm rooms with no one. And that had to just be crushing on so many levels for everybody, for her and for her son. But then what happened the next year, and this is something that I had never even considered: okay, he's a freshman, now he's a sophomore. The freshmen are coming in, and they're having all the social interaction of being in dorms, being able to talk to people, not being isolated. And then the sophomores, they don't know what to do. They don't have the social skills. They don't have the camaraderie. They don't have the people. And so they basically got jumped over. And they're still trying to catch up. All these kiddos, however old they are now, they're still trying to catch up, because they basically got jumped. In fact, they had the drive-by graduation ceremonies. Remember those? Those were crazy. I felt bad for so many kids who just didn't have graduation.

Tammy: Any graduation. Yeah. I was like, this is a milestone. You wait for this, and then you get two tickets. Your family wants to come watch you graduate and they can't, and you're watching it on Zoom.

Kathi: You're watching it go by down the street. Some of my parents' kids, the graduation ceremony goes past them and they're sitting in cars. It's like, oh my gosh. So, going on. I think what you're doing is hugely important right now, Tammy. I think this book is hugely important for people of this age, the 18- to 30-year-olds, like you say. God bless you for doing this work. I think it's amazing. And isn't it true that what we teach is what we most need to learn? So what you're saying is what you most need to hear. And I bet this book will bring you great comfort too, as you go into your therapy and whatnot.

Tammy: Of course. Yeah, that's what I realized. I love God. God is my thing. Okay? And I'm just like, thank you. I never set out to write a book. Okay? I just wanted to message my kids. The reason I put it into the first book is because people heard what I was doing, colleagues, friends, and they're like, "That's so beautiful. You should put it in a book." So I put it in a book. But I realized there was a reason: starting a women's business network, doing all this stuff, meeting people, how are you connecting with people, and then the messages. It was all really part of my journey, because this is what I need. There are so many women in my network who have had breast cancer. I had people to go to. It just was amazing to me how everything, when you just let it, it just comes to you. And even how we met.

Kathi: Yeah. It just happens. It comes.

Tammy: We met on a network, Alignable. We just started talking, and then you spoke to the group, and I was like, "Wow, I like her. I want to try her services." So everything comes together the way it's supposed to. You just have to be open.

Kathi: You have to be open, and full of love and full of expectation. I think being expectant, expecting good things, and being open and receptive to whatever that means, because oftentimes the dip can be the good thing, right? The dip can be like, oh, something good is going to come out of this one. So yeah, I think that's definitely it. You totally pivot faster when you look at it as: life is my friend.

Tammy: It's a good friend, and life isn't trying to give me anything that's going to hurt me. A good friend doesn't want to hurt me. So the pivot is better when you look at it as, I'm going to learn from this. It's going to change me. I realize so much; my eyes are more open since I got this diagnosis. It is scary. It is anxiety-provoking, but my eyes are open, because I'm seeing things that I didn't think about before. And I'm saying, "Wow, this is really important." And I've been saying I'm blessed. And people are like, "What are you talking about?" I'm like, "I'm blessed," the way it's laid out. And that was because of all the prep before that I didn't know I was doing.

Kathi: Yeah. Imagine that, if you hadn't done all this prep prior to this. So now you know that you're going to learn and grow.

Tammy: I'm going to be meditating all through treatment, I can tell you that much.

Kathi: Absolutely. And I've heard having your practitioners also do prayers and whatnot as you go into things is a really powerful thing. Even if they don't believe it, if they just say the words. Maybe they do some Hebrew for you, or whatever. It's powerful.

Tammy: Oh, yeah. We have the Psalms of David; we call them Tehillim. And I have a whole list of people who need Tehillim that I say it for. And I know a lot of people are saying it for me. We've just been really blessed with the way everything's unfolded. People always say, "What can I do for you?" I'm like, pray. Just say a prayer. That's it. You don't have to do anything, because it'll work out the way it's supposed to.

Kathi: It's powerful. It's very powerful stuff, for sure. So let's talk about your podcast a little bit. I want everybody to tune in to your podcast. It's called the Women Beyond the Table Podcast, right? So tell me about Women Beyond the Table. Explain how you came up with that title, because I found it very intriguing.

Tammy: Oh, wow. So when Women Beyond the Table started, it was the pandemic, and we all shut down, and I asked a couple of my friends, "How are you doing? How are you guys doing?" Because nobody was working and it was weird. And I was like, "We should have a call just to see how we're doing." So I made a little agenda. And I saw friends who were in the Great Resignation, thinking, "I don't want to go back to where I was. I want to start something else. I want to do something else." So the first call was, how are you doing? And the second call was, okay, how do we find the right suppliers of services? Because you need a website, you need a content writer, you need digital help. All this stuff: who do you talk to for that? You want to have a supplier that you like and trust, because I would Google "content writer," 10,000 people come up, and you don't know who's right. And then you click on one thing and you get 10 days of nonstop emails because you clicked on something, right? So that was how Women Beyond the Table started. The first call was three people, and then somebody said, "Oh, I have somebody who's a website developer. We should bring them on." I'm like, okay, bring them on a call. I made an agenda. It was three things, like, how are you doing? So that's how it came about. And what happened was, at the beginning of 2023, we were talking about making podcasts, because we now had 30 women who were tuning in regularly, and they all had great stories. They were all doing really cool things. So we wanted to promote our members more at that time. Now a lot of outside guests come on, but we were like, let's get them on, because they have great stories. But I didn't know how to do a podcast. Like writing a book, I didn't know how to do it. So I was trying to figure out how to start a podcast. I asked some of the women in the group, "Do you know anybody who does podcasts? Connect me." That's how we started the podcast. And now we're in the middle of season three. It's still new. And it's fun, because we just let the women tell their story, and they share everything, their challenges. I can tell you, I've heard stories, and I know the women; it's not a complete stranger I'm talking to. Sometimes it is. But sometimes you hear things that you had no idea they went through, horrible things, and during the podcast I'm like, "Oh my God." And it's so moving. It's moving for me. I'm sitting there listening, and it's very emotional, and you get into it. But people get a chance to really share, which is what I like. And I learn more about what they're doing in their work and their job. And my favorite question always is, what would you tell your younger self? Because they learn so much. I'm always interested in what they tell their younger self.

Kathi: That's coming up for you, my friend. But Women Beyond the Table, I found it interesting because you co-own a restaurant with your husband. I'm like, okay, so they're not at the table, they're beyond the table.

Tammy: Oh, I never answered the question. So I'm sitting in the pandemic, trying to think of a name for this group. And for some reason King Arthur's round table popped into my head, with the knights. And I only had three people on the call. So, my table, with table knights. Okay. And then I was like, women have a seat at the table. We used to serve. Wow, women used to serve. Remember, they used to serve the table. They used to bring the cups, they'd bring everything, and they just served. They didn't sit at the table. And then we started getting a seat at the table. But let's go beyond the table. So that's how it all came about. It was a knights-around-the-table visualization in my head. I never answered that question. Oh my God.

Kathi: Got it. Okay. Because I've been wondering about that ever since we met years ago. It's a really cool name, and WBTT, it's kind of cool. So I thought that was neat. Plus, I was thinking about your restaurant, thinking there was some parallel there. But that's great. Okay, so three more questions. First question, I have to ask this: what's your favorite organizing system? I know you're very organized and very systematic. What do you do that keeps you linear and on track? What's your favorite device, or whatever?

Tammy: A device?

Kathi: Well, or a practice.

Tammy: Oh, okay. So there are a couple of things that I learned. Actually, I learned from you too. I block my day. Okay? In the morning, and I'm not one of those… I used to be in the 5 AM Club, because I thought I had to be in the 5 AM Club, but I don't do it anymore. I get up when it works for me, and I do my personal time. So I do my meditation, my journaling. I do Positive Intelligence every day. I do that stuff. I pray. I'll do my yoga. I do a little tai chi. I try to get my workout in. And then I can start the day with the creative, because once you do the PQ, you can start being more creative. I do have the three or four things I want to get done in the day, and then I go a little bit into creative, where I just let my mind open up, so I can get: okay, this is a new idea, this is a new way I could approach something. I don't procrastinate. I plan one step at a time, and I take one step. So what's that one step I'm going to do right now for the book? What's the one step that I need to do for the restaurant? What's the one step I need to do to make sure that everything is going smoothly in the gem and jewelry business? And for Women Beyond the Table, what do I need, the one step? So I keep it organized like that, so that it's just one step and I don't get overwhelmed, and that's been very helpful for me. And my Google Calendar is something I love. I'm always looking at the Google Calendar, because it keeps me very much on track. I had Calendly a long time ago. I'm bringing that back. Remember, we spoke about that? I'm bringing back Calendly now that I understand how to combine different calendars under one. So I can really schedule the calls much better and be better at it. So those are things I learned from you.

Kathi: Oh, well, that's cool. I appreciate that. I just love the fact that you said you have just a few lists, because so many people… 41% of our to-do lists never get done. And so having one main thing for each of your ventures is a brilliant idea. And I think for everybody listening out there, because there are so many people who have more than one thing. We all have more than one thing as women entrepreneurs. So just don't overload yourself with multiple tasks. Follow what Tammy does, because she's got it going on and you get so much done. It's so impressive how you work.

Tammy: Because I reduce my life to one step at a time, because it's so easy to get overwhelmed. Plus, when you do one step, another step opens. And when you do one step, you can pivot when something starts going that way. Why worry about everything you have to do? Because you don't know how it's going to go anyway. So just do the one thing and see how it goes.

When you do one step, another step opens.

Kathi: And generally the hardest thing. Which is why I love that you start with your creative, your open mind, your open spirit. Your body is moving, you're in that creative zone, you do your hardest thing, and then the other things just fall into place. A lot of people don't get centered, and then they start doing their busy work. And I was a culprit of that. The first three years of my career as a professional organizer, I was just busy, busy, busy, not really getting that I wasn't doing the big thing. So that's great advice. Okay, next question. What would you tell your 18-year-old self, now looking back? What words of advice would you give her?

Tammy: It's okay to fail. You're going to be fine. You're really great. Believe in yourself. Don't be afraid to ask. Okay? Listen when people are talking. Listen to what they're saying. Become the observer in the room. And work on your finances. Understand finances, understand how to build your assets, and start now.

Kathi: Yeah. That's a lot of good advice. I would just sit down and be like, "Sweetie, listen to me, because I'm from the future. Start saving now."

Tammy: Yeah. I tell myself, as I made so much money over the years, really? Why didn't I think of that?

Kathi: Okay. Yeah. Good, good advice. Okay, third and last question. Actually, I have two more. So the next one is, what can people download or get from you if they want to learn more? I want everybody to pre-order this book, so I'm putting the link down below. Pre-order her book. And actually, this podcast might come out right as the book is being released, so go ahead and grab a copy of her book or pre-order it. The links will be below. And is there anything else that I have not asked you that you wanted to discuss during this podcast?

Tammy: Well, it's interesting, because download-wise, my TC Brand Consulting website is transitioning to Tammy J Cohen, because I realize I'm the brand. So new websites are being developed. It's going to come out probably by mid-April. There's going to be a download on there, and it's going to be the first pages of the book, and then chapter one is going to have some messages in there, so you get a good feeling of it and the why of it. So that's going to be the download, and the website's going to be tammyjcohen.com. It's just not up right now, because it's under development. It will be when this is released.

Kathi: It'll be out there. So make sure to go to tammyjcohen.com, get your download, and actually order the book. Go ahead and just order the book, whether it's a pre-order or the real copy or whatever you want to do. I'm sure it's going to be in digital form and in paperback form. So do whatever you want with that, but make sure that you read it. We all know someone who is struggling with someone else who's 18 to 30. We all know that, whether we have kids or not. I don't have kids, but I have several clients and several friends who are up against this, especially the 18- to 25-year-olds not being able to communicate, not being able to really relate. I hear people talking, "Oh, the new generation." I'm like, oh, you're sounding so old now. Come on. Let's meet them where they are, so that you can get to know them more. It's just a different way. Listen, I remember when I was young and I was showing my grandmother how to put the VHS in, and cable. She was just like, "Oh my God." Remember the VHS in the machine? And I knew how to do it. It's just something new. It's a different way to communicate, but that's how they do it, right?

Tammy: So I've noticed that disconnection can happen at any age. I know people who are my age (I'm 62) who are not okay. Even from Women Beyond the Table, I send a message like, "Hey, how are you doing?" Or, "You know what? You got this." Or, "What do you need? Let me figure this out for you." Something, an encouraging message. It could be for anybody at any age. You could do it. You help somebody. Just send them help along the way. And there's something that I want to tell the audience, because Kathi told me this: don't procrastinate. Anything you want to do, you go do it, and you take that first step, and the motivation comes after. So even if you have a big task to do, or something big for work, or something big you want to do, just break it down and do the first step. Don't procrastinate, because the more you procrastinate, the worse it gets later on. It becomes daunting. And oh, I'm so grateful that I practiced making sure that I got my steps done and I didn't procrastinate on a lot of the big asks from my publisher, from the group, from work. Because now, going into treatment, I'm not overwhelmed at all, because everything's been done, and the next step is always manageable. If I had a lot still to do, I would be very discombobulated. So listen to the organizer, Kathi Burns. I'm repeating it, okay? Because it's what I learned. Do not procrastinate.

Anything you want to do, you go do it, and you take that first step, and the motivation comes after.

Kathi: I love that. Thank you so much. I did not expect all the kudos, but I really appreciate you. I love you. You're just an amazing powerhouse of a person, and I'm so glad that we had the opportunity to meet and become friends. Anyhow, I'm going to cry. It's enough. I think we've finished our podcast for the day. Make sure to tune in to the Women Beyond the Table Podcast. I'll put the link there as well. And we'll play more together. Until next time, gang, go ahead, say something nice to somebody. Reach out. You can never have too much nice. You can never say too many good things to too many people. It just doesn't happen. Even if you hate the person, if you say something nice to them, it's going to resonate. Although we should never hate, right? But you know what I mean. In fact, what I think, and you can confirm this, Tammy, is that the people who cause you the angst are the people who probably need the most love. So there's nothing wrong at all with just reaching out and sending a little bit of sunshine hither and thither.

Tammy: I agree. I agree. You just don't know where a person's coming from. You don't know what's happening to them. You don't know how they live. You don't know anything about their life. Sometimes we judge. We judge ourselves. We judge others. We judge situations. The judge is a saboteur. We all have it. So the idea is, when that little judge rears its head, I go, "Hey, Judge Judy, take a break." Let's get you off the left side and over to the right side, and let's be empathetic for five minutes, or let's be a little bit curious about what's going on with this person that they're so aggressive or upset. And even if you can't be empathetic or curious, just don't judge them. Because the more you judge them, the more anger they're going to throw at you, because they're going through a lot. You just don't know what it is.

Kathi: Yeah. And the more you judge them, the more you're judging yourself anyhow. We're all a unity. Then you're in the judge, judge, judge, and you're going into a fight.

Tammy: Yeah.

Kathi: Okay. Well, this has been great. I will see you guys next week. Same time, same bat channel. Please tune in. If you like this podcast, give us some love. Please give us a thumbs up. The ultimate thing is to leave a comment below. That really helps us grow both of our channels. So until then, guys, we'll see you. And thank you, Tammy, so much.

Tammy: Oh, thank you, Kathi. I love this conversation, and I'm so happy to be your guest. I really appreciate you having me on.

Kathi: Absolutely. Okay, until next time, guys. We'll see you later.