How to beat Overwhelm, Stop Stress & Thrive with Kerry Tepedino

Kathi: Hi everyone. I am so happy you're here because I am speaking with my good friend Kerry Tepedino, and we're going to talk about how to beat overwhelm, stop stressing out, and learn how to thrive. And Kerry is a master at this. So, welcome Kerry. I'm so glad you're here.

Kerry: I am so excited to be here. We have been friends for so long, it seems like, and seen each other through so much. And I know you don't take lightly who you put in front of your audience. You're mama bear with that. So, I feel very honored to be here. Thank you for having me.

Kathi: Oh, absolutely. So, I know a lot about you, but these people listening probably don't know that much about you, Kerry. So, let's hear a little bit of your backstory on why you're doing what you're doing right now.

Kerry: Okay. Oh my goodness. Great place to start, and I appreciate that, so our friends can realize, hey, I don't feel like I'm rock solid right now. I feel like I'm at rock bottom. I want to get rock solid, too. And so it helps to hear other people speak about their journey, I feel. So many moons ago… I've been in the personal development space for about 20 years. But what led me here is I was in a place in my own life where I didn't feel great about myself. My confidence wasn't great. My self-esteem wasn't great. I was working in overwhelm and stress. And I was also in this conversation of, wait a minute, I thought my life would look different when I got to this point. I'm in my 50s now. I was in my 30s then. Even through my 20s, I always thought it should look different than it did. And what I finally realized was my 50 pounds of being overweight, my disturbed relationships, my broke bank accounts, not having a career I loved, that all was an outside manifestation of me not having the personal development skills inside to really create the life that I really wanted to have.

Kerry: And so, push came to shove. One night, I really ended up in a come-to-Jesus conversation with myself and realized if I don't stop this cycle of self-destruction, then nothing gets better from this place. I continue to go down this rabbit hole over and over and over again and then wonder why nothing ever works for me. And so, that night was really a wake-up call. There's more to that story, but in a nutshell, that night was really a wake-up call for me. And looking back in hindsight, I know that really it was a God moment for me that somehow got me up off that bathroom floor and decided to do whatever it took to find the mentors, to find the community, to get the strategies, get the skills to turn my life around. And so from that place, my business really birthed itself. The One Thought Away Project really birthed itself because I felt like I cracked the code on my own uncomfortableness, and then I just wanted to help other women do the same.

Kathi: I love it. I love it. And we all get there, overwhelmed, because there's just too many choices out there and we're not confident to make any way forward. So talk to me about the step that you took when you decided you were going to just break through and make change. What was your first step out?

Kerry: For me, the first step was letting go of thinking I already knew what to do. I mean, I'm a really smart girl, as you know, but even if I knew what to do logically, in my heart I wasn't in the practice of what I knew to do. And so I was constantly shortchanging myself. Every day was another promise that I would make to myself about turning my life around, or not eating that, or exercising this way, or doing work a certain way. And by night, I had broken my promise to myself once again. So it was a constant cycle of dishonoring myself, breaking my commitments to myself, and then eventually just not trusting myself to be able to do anything to move my life forward.

Kerry: So, a huge first step for me was letting go of control and finding somebody that actually could help me, who had results in her life that I really wanted, and then shadow what she did. Take the strategies, stay coachable even when it's not easy. I stayed coachable and I took her coaching. And honestly, investing my resources, my money, my time and my energy into myself at that time, even though I didn't have the time and the money and everything, in the long run it saved me so much time, energy, money and heartache to take the big S for Superwoman off my chest and to realize it's not a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of strength to raise my hand and say, "I need support."

It's not a sign of weakness, it's actually a sign of strength to raise my hand and say, "I need support."

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Kathi: Yeah, I totally agree. And I like the taking the S off your chest. We all try to be superwomen and we don't want to say that we don't know what to do. And your advice of, well, it takes time to make time. It takes money to make money. Even if you don't think you have the resources to launch or to do whatever you're doing, for those of you listening out there, you have to do it. There's no way around not taking action. If you don't take action of some sort and you don't invest resources of your time and your money, you're not going to get where you want to be. So I think that's really, really good advice. If you had to look back and tell your 18-year-old Kerry something, what would you tell her right now, now that you know what you know?

Kerry: Oh, that's a great question. I would tell her to not let go of her dreams. I always say the dreams and desires in our hearts are like a lifeline to our souls. They're there for a reason. And even though those dreams and those desires and that vision that we have in our life three years out, two years out, 10 years out might feel really big, or how can I ever get there, or stuff like that doesn't happen for girls like me, or whatever that conversation is from our childhood, they truly are there for a reason. Nothing is downloaded into our heart space unless there's a way to make it happen. And so what I would want to tell 18-year-old Kerry is keep going. Don't rip yourself off. Don't come this far to only come this far. Go all the way. Humble yourself and, again, allow yourself to be supported.

Don't come this far to only come this far.

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Kathi: Yeah, I think that's great advice, and I so agree with you about this. I think every desire is a God gift. It's like an expansion wanting to happen, and if we have a desire, it's there for a reason. Even if it's a crazy desire, it's there for a reason and it's our own unique desire. So, we're the only one that can really express it. I love what you said about that, and I resonate so, so deeply with that. So, let's talk about One Thought Away. Let's talk about that because here we are. The book launched yesterday, gang. The book launched yesterday. So, let's talk about this book, and you're one thought away.

Kerry: Oh my gosh, you guys. So, this is what I want our friends who are here listening to us to know. Honestly, wherever you are coming into this conversation, you were led here for a reason. Trust that. No matter what your current age, economic status, political status, shape, size, whatever, I promise you there is a nugget here for everybody. I'm the CEO and the founder of the One Thought Away Project, and the One Thought Away book just launched. You guys are some of the first people to hear it. Just launched yesterday. And it really is a book for anybody who is ready to transform their lives, ready to be the person that they know they're made for. They just know that this isn't everything that I'm supposed to have. There's something more here for me. I just don't know what to do or how to get it.

Kerry: And so we really focus first and foremost on what are you thinking? Because you are one thought away from having the life that you want to have today, or not. You're one thought away from being happy today, or not. And so when we go in there and we really start to shift and change how you're thinking, and that is easier said than done, we map it out in a way that is so easy to comprehend, because your brain wants to hook into something. I'm that nerdy girl that loves to study the brain, and I do all the brain research and all the mindset research, and your mind is going to hook into a plan. And so we want to be strategic about what plan we're giving our brains to hook into, our minds to hook into, and make sure that we're doing that by design and not by default. That life plan that your brain is hooking into, whatever your brain cognitively believes, it's got to prove itself right. So it's even going to be working you towards that idea or vision even when you sleep. So we want to make sure we're feeding your brain what it is you want to create for your life and who you want to be as a person you respect in the world.

You are one thought away from having the life that you want to have today, or not.

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Kerry: And so, in the One Thought Away book, we really start to help you understand all the beliefs that maybe you have brought into your life up until this point. We debunk the ones that aren't working for you. We get rid of the ones that are not serving you. We open up the space to bring in that expanded thinking of what's possible for you, and really show you how to master this mindset piece so that you really get that you are one thought away from having an extraordinary life, or not.

Kerry: And the other thing I want to say about that, Kathi, before I pass it back, is the "or not" piece is really important, because until we realize the impact of the "or not", we don't really understand what it's costing us in our lives to not change how we're thinking. Because how we're thinking is in direct relationship to how we're in relationship to our emotions. How we're in relationship to our emotions is absolutely impacting the actions that we take. The actions that we consistently take become our habits, and then that is impacting our results 100% of the time. So this mindset thinking piece is really important. And the "or not"… in the book we help you really get into the details of what is at risk for you to not shift your thinking. Those dreams that you have in your life, the dreams to travel the world or to create generational wealth and then maybe create a nonprofit that helps something you're really passionate about, or to start a family: that "or not" piece is important. Unless we're intimate with what it's costing us to stay stuck, we just have too much of a payoff in staying stuck, because it's where we're comfortable. We either get to look good, be right, or play safe. And so really getting into, wow, if I don't change this way of being, this way of thinking, I honestly might make it to my deathbed and look back with regret.

Unless we're intimate with what it's costing us to stay stuck, we just have too much of a payoff in staying stuck, because it's where we're comfortable.

Kathi: If we change that thought… I'm so thought, word, deed. What we think manifests. What we speak manifests, and we generally speak what we're thinking, unless we're holding it back, or we're thinking all the subconscious bad stuff and saying good stuff and it negates itself. So, I'm with you on that. Thinking about what do you think, and do I want to think that way or do I want to think a different way? It sounds like a great little road map for those of you out there who are stuck and going on that wheel of self-doubt, being on that wheel of "I don't think I can ever do it." This is a way to break through that barrier of your own mind, which is ironic in itself.

Kerry: Yeah, we start paying attention to what we're thinking.

Kathi: So the "or not" piece I think is pretty brilliant, actually. I've never considered it that way.

Kerry: Thank you. Thank you.

Kathi: Yeah. There is a lot of cost to being stuck, and there is a great amount of cost to not paying attention to what your brain is saying. Your brain is your monkey mind, not necessarily your soul speaking. We listen a lot to that, I do believe.

Kerry: Right. In our community, we also call it the monkey mind. That little voice in the back of your head that's saying all the things: well, what if it doesn't work for you, or what if you go for it and you fail, or what if you actually succeed? A lot of people don't realize that that's a legitimate fear. Like, what do you mean? Why would I be afraid of success? Well, you might be surprised. And so what we say is, if your life was a car and you're in the driver's seat of your life, or you're going to get back in the driver's seat of your life, we're going to take the monkey mind. You're going to put it in the baby seat, the child's seat in the back seat, strap it down with a seat belt, give it a banana, and you get to roll down your window, turn on your favorite music on the radio, whether it's spiritual music or AC/DC, whatever floats your soul, and just sing at the top of your voice and get yourself back into the driver's seat of your life. Stop listening to the monkey. Give the monkey a banana. Take your control back.

Kathi: Shut him up. Shut him up. Give him a banana.

Kerry: Give him something to distract him. As you know, I have a lot of young kids, so I'm good with this piece. I know how that car seat works. I got that car seat down.

Kathi: Well, I'm so impressed with you, Kerry. We've known each other for a long time. It's funny that you said you're a brainiac, because I met you when you were doing craniosacral. You were a really good therapist. That was way back in the day. And you wanted to manifest all this stuff. You wanted to manifest the love, you wanted to manifest the family, and you've done it all. You've got brilliant children now. You have twins, and you have a love of your life. And I'm just so pleased to say that you've done it. So, for those of you who are listening out there, I have watched a transformation, and she rocks the world. She's grabbed it. She's done it. And so I think this book is really the perfect timing for a lot of people. A lot of people have been lost and they're in transition. I know that a lot of you listeners out there might be in transition. This is an organizing podcast, so I have to say, Kerry, you get a lot done, girl. What is your favorite organizing tactic or hack that you use on a regular basis?

Kerry: Are you talking about for time or space?

Kathi: Anything.

Kerry: Okay. Oh, I'll give you one for both. Because I honestly believe that our space is a direct reflection of our mindset. So I am really clear that I love my space to be clean and beautiful and uncluttered. And you can tell I like a lot of whites. We do splashes of color. You can see a little pink in there. But even with three young kids, I still prefer white. People think I'm crazy, but it just makes me feel good. It makes me feel a sacredness. And so, don't hoard. Don't keep things that aren't necessary. Don't even let it in the house. Don't take your pile of mail into the house. Just take in what you need. Get the junk out of your mail even before you come in the door. Sort your mail before you come in the door. But not just the mail. The mail is symbolic for a lot of things.

Kerry: And I'm really adamant about also, at the end of the day… I have three wild childs, so my house can get messy pretty fast. And they get to do that, because they're kids and they get to have free self-expression. And I reset my stage, my house. I reset my stage at the end of my day when the kiddos are all in bed, so I can wake up to the clean space again. My office is pretty much a kid-free zone, except for my 8-year-old's reading corner. My office is my space for the most part, because my twins are only two, so they're crazy. They get into everything. So that is my space tip that is just so important to me personally.

Kerry: And then the other thing that I would say is my time blocking, which is another method of organizing. I've organized my work time. I only have child care support from 7:30 to 4, Monday through Friday. And so I really can't work past 4.

Kathi: Right.

Kerry: And in the morning, I'm taking my oldest to school and everything. So really, I work like 9 to 4. And so I get to be super laser focused in regards to my time, because we have multiple groups of women's group coaching running at all times. We usually have three running at all times. I run a significant business. And so I schedule time blocking: I do certain tasks on certain days of the week, and I do certain tasks on certain weeks of the month. I'm very, very strategic in how I manage my time. I don't say I'm going to do a hundred things in one day. Like the book: I didn't say, okay, I'm going to write the book in a day or in a week. But I would say, okay, can I do 500 words in a day or 1,500 words in a day? I set myself up to win. I set myself up to win, but I also do get stretchy. I push myself to the next level all the time. I'm constantly staying the student. So that is organizing my space and organizing my time. And that's time and energy, really. Time and energy are married. They go hand in hand. So, I hope that helps somebody here.

Kathi: Oh, I think a lot. And of course, you're speaking my words. It's all about time blocking. It's all about having space so that you can think clearly and actually get stuff done and not be distracted by other things in your environment. Resetting from the day is fantastic, of course, so you wake up to a nice clean slate. And you're proof that it works. You're a leading testament to being organized.

Kerry: Oh, thank you. I am always working on myself. I will say, if any author, speaker, coach or anybody tells you that they have it all figured out, run for the hills. I am the first to say, don't put me on a pedestal. I know you work with men and women, and I love our men too, but I really want to help others be a hero of their own story. I do openly share what I've learned that really works. But I think it's important: I'm Yoda, you're Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia. I'm just the guide for the women who come into our communities. And even the book is a guide. And you get to breathe inspired action into everything from the book or everything from our coaching programs, so that you learn that you can create a transformation in your life not just once, but 10 times, a hundred times, however many times you choose. And that is really like, you get to be the hero. Everybody gets to be the hero of their own story. Run to the hills if somebody says they have it all figured out, because life is dynamic. It's organic. It's fluid. That would be wild.

If any author, speaker, coach or anybody tells you that they have it all figured out, run for the hills.

Kathi: We are all a work in progress, girlfriend. There's no one way to do anything, is what I totally believe. One thing that could totally work for one person might not work for the other person, and that's why we all have different brains. And that's why I think the "or not" is a great example to just think of. This is my year of "what if." I like to have a mantra for every year. This is my year of what if. What if it could just be like that? Wow. Wouldn't that be cool?

Kerry: Yeah. What if it's better than you ever imagined? This is my year of ease. Not easy, but my intention is ease. So no matter what life brings, I get to recalibrate: okay, how do I get to go into this conversation, or into this moment, or this experience, or this project from a place of ease? It doesn't mean it's easy, but ease. So that's my intention for the year.

Kathi: Yeah. Water over a rock. Nothing better than that.

Kerry: Water over a rock. Just go right down. Make it nice and smooth.

Kathi: Nice and smooth. I like that. Okay. So my next question, which I'm asking everyone, is how do you celebrate your successes? What do you do?

Kerry: Oh my goodness. Pause and celebrate success. We celebrate all the time. Celebration is actually a huge part of our success formula in our community, but also my family. I feel like I'm celebrating every single day because my house is full of noisy giggles and playing and somersaults and all that stuff. So I feel like I'm in a constant state of celebration, I should say. But we're really adamant also with our clients and also with my team. On our team calls, we start with moments of success: okay, what is everybody going to be proud of? Let's do a round table. And we start there first. We also do that work with our clients, because the more we start to experience ourselves as somebody who can have follow-through, completion energy and success, you start to understand, wow, if I did that once, I could probably do it again. And so I'm really, really big on that. So for me, a lot of it is just putting words to it with the people I care about, like on our team or our clients. And then with my family, I would say celebrating is very playful for me. In this season of my life, it's very playful.

Kathi: Yeah. Absolutely. She's got little ones, and they celebrate all day long anyhow, with their giggles. I love that. They haven't learned not to celebrate, and hopefully they never will.

Kerry: Yeah, it's pretty interesting.

Kathi: Okay. So, you have a valuable free resource, and I know we're talking about the book launch here. So what's going to happen with the people who are listening out here? What are we offering?

Kerry: Oh my goodness, you guys. We have so much for you. Honestly, the book just released yesterday. You guys are some of the first people to see it. And so if you go to onethoughtawaybook.com, onethoughtawaybook.com… for the people who are getting the book right away, we're putting in some visualizations to go with some of the chapters. We're doing certain processes that we want to gift you with, to really make sure that you're taking what you're learning in the book and you're applying it to your own life in a way that is not overwhelming, in a way that brings fast, easy, quick results. Real shifts right away. And we just really want you to be one of our first readers and get all those bonuses and gifts that come along with the book.

Kathi: Okay. And I guess we have a 99 cent sale here for those who are quick action takers.

Kerry: Thank you, Kathi. Yeah. For a limited amount of time, you guys, it's only 99 cents on Amazon. So get all your girlfriends to get it, too. And this is a great book for men, too, by the way. Doesn't matter which gender. It's genderless. But I believe you want to go to onethoughtawaybook.com first and then see what's on that page. And then of course, depending on when you hear this podcast, it's going to be on Amazon. But right now during the launch, it's only 99 cents. So please, please share it. Share it. Buy 20 of them. Give them to all your girlfriends. It's an amazing gift. The gift of life, the gift of happiness, the gift of feeling empowered in regards to one's life is one of the best gifts I think we could give our loved ones.

Kathi: Absolutely love it. And that's very generous. Everybody grab it while you can. 99 cents. For those that are listening, you've got to take action really quick, because I'm sure that sale will go away.

Kerry: We're working on breaking some records here. Yes. Thank you, you guys. So fun. And what that also does is it puts us in a deeper conversation together around the book. We're going to be continuing to feed the first readers special things and nurture you, because it's a new book. It's exciting. And so we want to really keep that fun and that connection. We want to hear your testimonials. We want to hear your stories. We want to highlight you as you go through the book and the visualizations and meditations and stuff that are tied to it. And we want to celebrate with you what's going to happen by getting the book and reading the book.

Kathi: Love it. Okay, gang. Well, thank you for being on the show. I so appreciate your time, Kerry. And it's good to reconnect. We need to do this.

Kerry: I will. Yes.

Kathi: Take care, you guys. Until next week, we will see you, and you guys have a fabulous week. And thanks again, Kerry. Make sure to download her book. The link's right down there.

Kerry: Awesome. Bye, everybody. I can't wait to hear your testimonies. Take care.