How to Face Your Journey to Change with Teresa de Grosbois

Kathi: So, welcome, Teresa. I'm so glad that you're here.

Teresa: It's great to be here. Thank you so much for having me on, Kathi.

Kathi: Absolutely. So, let's talk about your evolution as a business owner and as an influencer in the marketing industry. Tell me about your past, Teresa. How did you get to where you are right now?

Teresa: Well, let me tell you: beautiful linear process, all planned out? Anything but. I think that's really the entrepreneurial journey for so many people. It really does come from leaning in. If we do what is the next most logical step for us, then life evolves. And when we let life evolve, it's amazing where the current of our own life will bring us. I actually originally started out working in the oil and gas industry in Canada. I couldn't have conceived the life I'm living now 20 years ago. I couldn't have dreamed it, couldn't have dreamed that big. And yet when you surrender to the direction your life is taking you, it's pretty amazing where life will bring you.

Kathi: Yeah, I totally agree with that. I like to say water over a rock: trying to take the path that you tend to be led to, as opposed to trying to fight your way into where you think you're going to go. Don't you think that helps a lot more?

Teresa: Very much that way. There is a higher wisdom out there that takes you where you need to go, whether you want to go or not.

Kathi: Yeah. Kicking and screaming, or are you just going to go with the flow? Go downstream. So I know that the Evolutionary Business Council, which we will affectionately call the EBC, started as a mastermind. Is that how it came about? You were with like-minded entrepreneurs. Tell me about that story.

Teresa: Yeah, it's an interesting evolution in and of itself. The EBC was originally a brainchild that came out of a big event that I had done in Calgary. I had invited a lot of the people I like to mastermind with, a lot of the top speakers in North America, and I thought it'd be really fun after the event to just bring everyone up to the mountains for a weekend and just hang out and mastermind together. And so the night after the event ended, we're all sitting in this beautiful condo in Banff, and out of my mouth pops, "Someday, when I'm influential enough, I'd love to start a community of highly influential people that are all about changing the world." And they all started laughing. And I'm sitting there like, I just told you guys my dream and you're laughing at me. And one speaker looks at me, he's one of the top Latino speakers in the world, and says, "Wait a minute, Teresa. You were just on stage six hours ago telling people to notice when they say 'someday I will,' and inviting them to make that today." And then Jennifer Hough turns to me and says, "So when are you going to do that, Teresa?" And that was actually the moment the EBC was born. And it was actually an experiment, because I didn't set it up as the usual advanced mastermind. I asked the question: what if we treated influence like it was a currency, and built a funnel, like a marketing funnel, to pull the most influential people toward us? And it was pretty amazing how it worked initially.

Kathi: That's incredible. And how many years ago is that?

Teresa: That's 12 years ago now. And it's evolved significantly since.

Kathi: Yeah. And it's a fantastic organization. I really enjoy it myself. So you were in the oil and gas industry. Were you doing marketing in that industry? Is that how that happened, or did you go into marketing from that?

Teresa: I was mostly leading big change initiatives in the industry. So I had a lot of opportunity to really understand what creates change and what creates influence. I was doing a lot of management system work, and it was fascinating. I started doing a lot of self-help work that had me really doing a lot of inquiry. In fact, I can remember a specific moment. I was in the middle of what I now affectionately call my really bad year. I had a year where, in the first six months of that year, my father had passed away, the business I had started had failed, my marriage had ended, my health was in a tailspin, and all I can remember at that time was how deeply unhappy I was. I had all the outward trappings of success, like the six-figure income, the nice car. And I remember this one night I'm sitting in the bathroom of my new post-marriage-breakup condo, and I'm surrounded by tools, because I've always been a renovator and this bathroom's going to be my latest project. And I'm literally bathed in my own tears, because the only thought in my head was: it's me that needs renovating. I remember looking back over my life, and I couldn't honestly remember the last time that I was tuned in, turned on, happy. But it was such a powerful moment. I can laugh thinking about it now, because it was the turning point. It was the point at which I got serious about doing my own work, and I started taking every self-help course under the sun. I got a lot more serious about my yoga and my health. And within a few years of that time, my life had radically shifted, and I wouldn't even have recognized myself.

The only thought in my head was: it's me that needs renovating.

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Kathi: It's interesting. Sometimes it takes a massive amount of trauma before we're ready to make that shift, before it's like boom, boom, boom, boom. Okay, maybe we do need to do some inner work. Maybe we shouldn't just be busy, and we should go inside and slow down for a minute. I think we've all had that as entrepreneurs. The reason I think we become entrepreneurs, don't you think it's because you get that little calling that's like, I can do something more with this? And the universe knocks us on our side, or knocks us off our stool, and says, yeah, maybe you should pay attention to that. So it sounds like that's what happened to you, and it's a common phenomenon, but what's uncommon about you is how massively you've been able to impact people. So where did the book come in after this? Because you have a number one bestseller in seven countries. Let's talk about the book a little bit.

Teresa: Yeah. Well, it was probably five or six years, maybe seven years after that time that I first wrote Mass Influence. I'd been working in the realm of influence for a while, and I realized I really do need to write a book to help the change agents of the world understand that becoming influential is not only easy, it's important. Because there's a lot of good people out there with a lot of negative self-talk, a lot of inner dialogue that stops them from stepping into their own influence. They think nobody's going to listen to them anyway, or they're not important enough, or only the arrogant would want to be influential. We all have a thousand things we tell ourselves. The reality is, the only people that don't have inner dialogue that stops them from stepping into influence in their own leadership tend to be sociopaths, which is a whole other conversation. Good people tend to stop themselves. So when you see a really good leader who's really about changing the world, they've had to do a lot of work to overcome all of that self-doubt to become the leader that they are today.

Becoming influential is not only easy, it's important.

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Kathi: I agree. What would you recommend to someone as step one? They're saying, I know I have this message, I don't feel good enough, I don't think that it's going to be accepted. What would be the first step that you would advise them to do?

Teresa: Well, the first thing is to note that all human beings have that. Research now shows that we first start developing our most significant negative self-beliefs around the age of two, when we're first learning language.

Kathi: Wow.

Teresa: So when we're in our very first failures in our life, we start telling ourselves things to make sense of those failures. I'm too short. I'm too tall. I'm too dumb. I'm too smart. I'm not good at speaking. Nobody's going to listen to me. Nobody loves me. There'll be something we would have said to ourselves in those early ages. And those messages that we start giving ourselves tend to become repetitive patterns that we keep living into as we get older and as we become adults. So step one is to try and get a handle on what are the most common things you tell yourself in the moments where you really feel called to step up and lead, or really called to push yourself to play a bigger game. What is that dominant thought that stops you? And see if you can go back and remember some of the first failures of your life, when you first started telling yourself that, because it probably is a repetitive pattern. The same thing is probably stopping you everywhere. And if you can go back and make friends with that little inner child that created that, that two- or three-year-old version of you that first started creating that messaging for you, and give that inner child a new job, to cheer you on instead of to warn you all the time, that's the thing that's really going to start turning the tables. We do a lot of inner child work in the Evolutionary Business Council, especially in some of our more advanced programs, because it's a very quick route to get after some of that negative self-talk that we created in ourselves.

Kathi: Yeah, that's really good advice, and we all have that. We all have some of it, and some of us more than others. So I think the great piece of advice is, if you do find yourself stuck, step back and see that. I think that's great advice. And once you recognize that self pattern, what would you say is the way to eliminate it and move forward?

Teresa: Well, the big thing, and I borrow this from Jennifer Hough's work, with permission, is to give your inner child a new job. So when you start making friends with your inner child, you want to lovingly comfort that inner child and tell them that it's not their job to ring the alarm bell anymore. It's not their job to go around warning you all the time. Let your inner child be in charge of fun and play and cheering you on on the adventure. And let the adult you, the higher consciousness, the part of you that's tuned into source and tapped into your own soul, let that part of you decide whether something's risky or something needs to be avoided. Not the two-year-old version of you. You don't want them to be driving the bus.

Let your inner child be in charge of fun and play and cheering you on on the adventure.

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Kathi: Yeah. Having them be in charge of play is a wonderful thing. I love that whole concept.

Teresa: For sure.

Kathi: Very helpful. So, I love the Evolutionary Business Council. Let's talk a little bit more about the membership and how it all came about. So all your friends at the mastermind said, "Well, start." Did they say, "Let's do it"?

Teresa: Yeah, actually they did. That group of people became the first advisory board for the Evolutionary Business Council, which is very cool. We spent the whole weekend dreaming and envisioning what the EBC might become, and they've actually been my greatest supporters on the road ever since as well. It's pretty incredible when you have a group of influential change agents at your back. It's pretty hard to fail when you've got a community like the Evolutionary Business Council around you, because they're pretty amazing individuals.

Kathi: Yeah. All sorts of amazing people. I joined earlier this year, and there are several of what we call deep dive training sessions coming up. And I know that there's one coming in September that's about podcasting.

Teresa: Yes. We always do our deep dive retreats on the topics of influence, impact or profit, because we believe those are the three pillars that every change agent, every entrepreneur that's about creating a more conscious, sustainable world, needs. So this September one is our influence deep dive, and we're diving deep into the topic of how you build a blockbuster show. We're going to be focusing on podcasting, but a lot of the concepts that we'll be teaching and talking about could also apply to an online television show. We're really diving deep into the topics of: how do you create a profitable model for your show? How do you be an awesome show host? How do you create an influential business model? And more importantly, how do you create profit from a show? We'll be talking a lot about sponsorship with the queen of sponsorship herself, Charmaine Hammond, who's got one of the most advanced conversations around sponsorship in our industry. So it's going to be a really fun three days where we really roll up our sleeves and get stuff done on your business.

Kathi: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. And for those of you who are interested in looking at the EBC or seeing if it's a good fit, there is an application process, and we'll put links below so that you can check that out. So I'm so intrigued. You're living the life of having a retreat in Costa Rica, and I'm so happy for you for that. I love Costa Rica. I've been there four times already. I keep going back. So let's talk about your retreat for just a little minute. Now you're living there full time, right?

Teresa: Yes. I do believe in really getting intentional about designing the life you want to live. So my co-founder and I came down here to found a conscious, sustainable community, which we call Vista Mundo, and our first little retreat center has now opened. About half the lots in the community have sold. We're working with a developer who's a retired buffalo farmer from the US. Really lovely individual. And we're really just having fun with it. We're planting a food forest. Every day we go out and plant more flowers or trees, and just really being in alignment with a community that's loving and supporting of each other and founded on the principles of sustainability. So if that's something that interests you, feel free to reach out. I'd love to have a conversation.

Kathi: That's so funny. A buffalo farmer, huh?

Teresa: Yeah. He's actually a retired veterinarian, but owned a buffalo farm in the States, and just a really, really lovely individual. He's reserved the whole development for our people.

Kathi: So I love it. There's nothing better than putting my hands in the dirt. I just love the fact that you can go out and grow things and start things from scratch. Costa Rica is so fertile, and it's such an amazing place to grow anything. Pretty much anything you can grow there, right?

Teresa: Yeah. Gardening is mostly an exercise in beating back the jungle here. It's amazing how fast stuff grows.

Kathi: Absolutely. So, if you had to do it all over again, is there anything that you would swap out in your life? Anything at all?

Teresa: I've loved every failure and every success. I think in life we need our failures. We need those moments where things aren't working. And I really do believe in the expression "good is the enemy of great." If your life is all good, you never seek or strive for anything better. You never turn yourself around and say, okay, wait a second, that didn't work, what next? So I actually don't think I would trade a single failure. I've had lots of them, big external failures that people saw, but I've also had internal failures, where my own commitment to my own self-work just wasn't in alignment, or I behaved in a way that just wasn't me. But I do think all of that becomes the mosaic of who we are, and as human beings, we become perfect in all our imperfections. So truthfully, I wouldn't trade a thing. I've loved every moment of it, including the worst ones.

I think in life we need our failures. We need those moments where things aren't working.

Kathi: Yeah, that's a really good answer. And I totally agree that through challenge comes triumph. You don't stretch. You don't imagine. If it's all complacency and everything's just perfect, then what is that anyhow? Perfection is overrated. When I was writing my first book, that was my mantra: perfection is overrated and simply not worth it. Striving for that is just crazy in the making. Anyhow, what is the best piece of advice that anyone's ever given you, that you think of a lot or that just keeps popping into your head?

Teresa: I love what Jennifer Hough says. Sheryl Sandberg's now written a book with this title, but I think Jennifer Hough was the first to say it to me, many, many years before Sheryl Sandberg was even known, which is lean in. I think just continuing to lean in the direction of your passion, and allowing yourself, because as you lean in, you can see more. Sort of like leaning around the corner. Suddenly, a whole new business is available to you. And I think living life that way: if you're not sure where you're going next, that's okay. Just lean into whatever feels like it might be the right next direction for you. And I think that's the best advice I've ever been given. I've now become really good friends with Jennifer Hough, and that stemmed out of originally just following some of her teachings. I think that's the best piece of guidance anyone's ever given me.

Kathi: I love that. Lean in. I will also put that right here. I think that's good, because you'll know. I think you'll get more insight. That's really good advice. So, okay. You're already a number one bestselling author. If you were going to write another book, or unless you are…

Teresa: I'm always writing.

Kathi: Yes. What's your next book? We want to be the first to know.

Teresa: I think my next book is going to be about not just influence, but influence and profit, and how they play together to create impact. Because you often see people who are awesome at one superpower and not the other. There are people who are highly profitable, and they use their profit to generate influence. They use their monetary proof to generate a certain amount of social proof, but they're not really the geniuses at influence that they could be. And then you see people who are highly influential. They understand the concept of social proof like nothing else, and they tend to generate a little bit of profit from their influence. But there's not that many people you see that have the two superpowers combined. And the key element that ties the two together is really: how good are you at getting people to take action? Because until people take action, you haven't really influenced them. You've just given them insight, but they haven't changed anything. They haven't changed their lives. And until you get people to take action, there is no profit in your business. You've given them good insight, but they will not pull out their credit card if they're not in action. In the Evolutionary Business Council, we call that distinction mobilization. When you master the ability to mobilize your following and actually use that to generate amazing profit, and use the profit to support the influence you're having, the force you can have in the world, the change you can create in people's lives, the impact you can have, is phenomenal. So I think that's going to be my next book. I'm going to talk about how those three elements play together, and how to understand the nuances of how they operate.

Until people take action, you haven't really influenced them.

Kathi: I love that. I'm looking forward to that one. That'll be impactful for everybody, of course. And I agree. There's a lot of people who have the influence, but they just don't have the money behind them. Or if they have the money behind them, they're not necessarily influencing the way that they could, to the highest and best. So, okay. I know we have a valuable free resource that people can access down below this podcast. What is it that you are offering, Teresa?

Teresa: If you want to actually practice your influence skills, you can come to our 30-day influence challenge. If you go to massinfluencethebook.com, we're now actually giving the digital versions of my book away for free to celebrate its seventh year anniversary on the bestseller list. We've been in and out of the number one spot in small business marketing for over seven years now. So to celebrate that, the digital version of the book is complimentary on most of the sites: Kobo, iTunes or iBooks, Kindle. Kindle keeps trying to push it back up; we have to keep bugging them. So depending on when you happen to be checking, if you're listening to the recording of this, you might have to let us know. But we do give the digital version away complimentary. And then you can sign up for our 30-day influence challenge, which is just 30 days of real quick exercises you can do. They're just little mini emails we send you every day, where you do this little two-minute thing every day, and you build your habits of becoming influential by doing the actions that highly influential people tend to do.

Kathi: Yeah, that's a phenomenal resource. And it does take four to six weeks for us to change our habits, so 30 days is right spot on for everybody. So I would welcome everybody that's listening to go ahead and start that 30-day challenge. If you really feel like you want to be influential, you want to make an impact, if you know that you have something that will benefit the world toward better, go ahead and take the challenge for sure. And start. Walk your talk, kids. Do it. That's what I say. Okay. Is there anything that I should have asked you that I didn't? Anything on your team that we want to talk about?

Teresa: I think you covered it all. It's just been a joy to be here, Kathi. Thank you so much.

Kathi: Absolutely. It's so good to connect, and I'm loving the EBC. Everybody, check it out below. Check the links. And I am just so thrilled that you're living your dream in Costa Rica. And hopefully one of these days I will be down and see all the things you've grown and flourished.

Teresa: Please come on down. We'd love to see you.

Kathi: Absolutely. Take care, and thank you so much for your time, and good Wi-Fi and good blessings to you, and happy fall, everybody. Check out the EBC deep dive in September.

Teresa: Thanks for having me on, Kathi.

Kathi: Thank you. Take care.