How to Heal Your Past and Energize Your Future Now with Gary Stuart

Kathi: Hi everyone, and welcome back to the Organized and Energized podcast. We are with Gary Stuart. Hey Gary, thanks for jumping on.

Gary: Oh, thank you. It's a pleasure, Kathi. Thank you so much.

Kathi: Absolutely. So look, we have constellations in the background. We have all sorts of good stuff we're going to talk about. So talk to me, Gary, about how did you get into this constellation business?

Gary: Well, before it became a business, I just was a massage therapist in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, and somebody came into our center. Hey, I'm promoting this new modality, blah, blah, blah. And I said, what is it? Constellations has nothing to do with astrology. It's about the placement of members in your family system. Of course, the ghosts in the background are dead ancestors. And it started out in 1965, believe it or not, by German psychotherapy females. This was invented by a female, but a male got all the credit. No disrespect to Bert Hellinger, my teacher and the person who made the modality famous globally. They were looking at the architecture of the family system. They would go on stage, like a theatrical stage, put in a mother or father, and if the husband rep would walk away, we'd say, okay, there's a break in the marriage. What happened in the marriage to make that break? Why are the kids huddled with the father and they're ignoring the mother? What did the mother do to make the kids scared? So they started to do it on stage, almost like an improv theatrical piece, and Bert Hellinger, who coined the term constellations as a pictograph of your family system, couldn't believe the downloads he got. It's like, wait a minute. I was asked to step in as a father. I wasn't me for a minute, and I understand all the emotions of a total stranger when I do not know the working client's name. So there's a field of consciousness. I did write a book called Quantum Activation, and I blew Amit Goswami away. We co-wrote the book, and he was absolutely blown away how I could connect to the multidimensional field in a nanosecond and read his whole life history in 10 minutes. He couldn't even believe it, and the accuracy was 100%. And so I said, you gave me permission to tap into your multidimensional field of consciousness. I sincerely believe we're consciousness, or an idea of God, so to speak, before we become physical, and we can be physical and reach back to that consciousness and get all the information that's stored in our own personal universe, or our collective universe of our family system. And if we have the courage, the bigger universe.

Kathi: Yeah, that would take some courage for sure. So you took the training, and then you started getting downloads as you were doing it.

Gary: Yeah. Well, I started going to workshops to support her. I said, let me support you. I want to learn about this. And I was in a living room in Brentwood, California, and she said, I need a grandfather here. Would you represent a grandfather? I do the work blindly. I don't let the room know what the client's working on. We just do it blind. It's much quicker and deeper that way, because otherwise people try to help by doing a reenactment. That doesn't help at all. It's like the brain is trying to do a theatrical impersonation. That's play acting. Why go through the symptom? Let's go to the root cause. So I just go deep to the root cause. So when I was in my first constellation as a rep, I was a great-grandfather. The client said she was Lithuanian. She didn't say till the end she was Lithuanian. She said, I don't know who I am, and I'm 55 years old, and I feel like I'm not connected to myself. That was her goal. She said, well, let's put in an ancestor. I got a huge download. He was depressed. Everyone left for the New World. No one cared. The soil was dead on the farm. It wouldn't grow food, and I died depressed and lonely. It was like boom, inside me.

Kathi: So this was the person saying, I'm lonely, I'm depressed, I don't know why?

Gary: No, that was me. That was my experience as the rep. She was saying, I don't know who I am. I feel disconnected inside myself, and my life is half over, and I feel like I'm a ghost walking through my life. And the resolution was, you are Lithuanian. It still touches me to this day. We ended up hugging and crying together. It's so strange. I don't even know her last name. She finally connected to her ancestry, and she felt whole and complete. She came back with her husband 10 years later and said, my life changed that night. I said, I'm here leading the workshops because of what happened in your constellation. I created a business around it because I was so amazed by it. It's an unforgettable experience, either being facilitated by me or being a rep. Even when I rep, it's always unforgettable, because we're getting this download of information that's so universal, and it's always available. We just don't focus on it.

Kathi: So for you, it was a natural tapping in.

Gary: Yeah. Well, the funny thing is, I was in massage therapy, and I'm massaging people. I was a stand-up comic. It didn't work out in LA. I still have the talent, I guess, but I'm using it in different venues now. And I was massaging people, and I would get a thought: ask about anger. My shoulder's tight, or they'd say, my effing shoulder's tight. Okay, sounds angry. Oh, what's angry in your life? Oh, this happened. Then they'd leave the table: oh, you took a rock off me. Oh, that's the best massage I've ever had. So I was one of the most requested therapists because I blended. That person's field was really telling me what the body needed. Sure, it made me a crackerjack massage therapist, but also, I didn't know it was the same field as the constellations downloading information. When you're touching another human, you're in their field. I was downloading all the stuff off their body. And then I would ask a probing question: well, who's a pain in the neck? It's cliche, but it's really true. Who's a pain in the neck in your life? Every single person knew exactly who it was. And so I made those connections for the people during the hour, hour and a half massage. So when I experienced constellations, it was the same field talking to me, guiding me, whether I was a rep or the facilitator. So somehow I already had this link-up, which was established in massage.

Kathi: Yeah. I find that a lot of massage therapists do have that tap into universal. A lot do. And I have a girlfriend who got into Akashic readings, another one doing all different types of psychic work. It's just quite interesting to me. But I think it's true, because you're totally in their field when you're with them. And you have to have good touch to be a good massage therapist. So therefore you have to be open and receptive, and therefore you might get downloads. Now I'm curious about the term constellation. How would you describe constellation?

Gary: So how the term came about is Bert saw these German psychotherapists on stage. They were PhDs. They were really big players. Virginia Satir, a couple of German women. I can't recall their names. And he said, oh, the pictograph is like a constellation. Oh, the picture of that family is like a constellation in the sky. It looks like five stars, but it's Orion. It looks like 10 stars, but it's a crab. It looks like 15 stars, and it's Andromeda, whatever. And that term, the minute people grasped it, when he used the word constellation, then they said, oh, Bert Hellinger, the developer of it. No, he was an attendee who really got it. And then he coined the term, which took off like wildfire. And then of course the women go by the wayside, thinking it's the authoritarian German patriarch who created this, when no, it was discovered by him through other psychotherapists who were looking for cutting edge. Germans are very precise, looking to take apart things mechanically and make it work perfect. And that's part of the German psyche, to be perfect, actually. For America, it's to get rich.

Kathi: Isn't that a truth? For sure. Absolutely. So as you've been going through the process, would it be called reading people?

Gary: Yeah. Reading. You could call it reading the field. In a way, it's like the field, because we're going into the records of what's stored. Our DNA stores records. And I was the first one to develop past life constellations, because it showed up a few times. Most of the past life stuff that I did, it's when the person didn't die naturally. So when I felt that was happening, I said, let's toy with that. I may be on the wrong track. I'm usually not. And it was a traumatic death, and we just let the person know that their spirit didn't die. Their body died that lifetime in an accident or whatever. I have a little puppy here. He's sleeping at my feet. When I turn on that oven, he's barking and screaming at me for the oven. And so how would a dog know heat is dangerous? Maybe he had a doggy past life where he was burned. He goes crazy when there's anything hot. So what makes a dog, an animal, know that? I know animals have memory. When you get a rescue dog and it's been abused, it won't go near the kitchen table. So obviously someone kicked it or beat it for looking for food, and the dog has a memory. So do dogs and animals have past lives? If you look at everything that's alive and grows, it has a history behind it. Even a weed comes from a long line of weeds. And one of my memes I have out there: we all come from a long line of dead people. And we really do. We're the new flower in the mulch of the family system. And one thing I wondered: the pyramids of Egypt, which I've crawled inside on a vacation. If you look at a pyramid, are all the dead ancestors the foundation and the new baby is the capstone? Like all these dead people brought a new baby to the sun as part of the family system. I've been inside the King's Chamber. There is the sarcophagus, but it was never used. I don't think I could do it again because of the claustrophobia aspect of it. But it's so interesting. Do the pyramids represent the growth of the past supporting the future? Is our family system a pyramid with hundreds of dead people? Like the great-grandparents would be the baseline, then grandparents, parents, and then the baby on top. And then that baby grows up and starts its own pyramid.

We all come from a long line of dead people.

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Kathi: Yeah. I'm not sure I like that, because it's like a closing in as opposed to an expansion type of thing.

Gary: Well, I mean it more in getting the support to see the sun, have its day in the sun. So we're really like a new flower in the garden, but the garden was here long ago. And you could say the dirt that the flowers grow through is the mulch of our ancestors that are supporting our growth in the present and future. One of my books I wrote is Raising Your Harmonious Child. Decisions parents make today will have a hundred-year shockwave going into the future. Everything you do today: will they say, oh my, my ancestors were jerks, they were horrible people? Or will they say, oh my God, they loved me. They nurtured me. They took care of me. Now I'll do that for their grandchildren, great-grandchildren. So, every choice we make as a parent, and of course we're going to make mistakes. But I come from a violently abused background. Luckily, I've found forgiveness and compassion in my heart for them, seeing what their lives were post World War II and all that, and the Depression. But today, what happened in my childhood, they would be in jail and I would be in a foster home. By today's standards, the whole family would have been broken up because of severe abuse. So times change, but those are the choices that everyone made. I've done about 17,000 clients the past 25 years. I discovered this in 1998. Here we are in 2023, my silver anniversary year.

Kathi: Congratulations.

Gary: Yeah. Thanks. When I commit, I really commit. But it's like we're birthing new consciousness every workshop. I have one tonight. We're birthing new consciousness. We're looking at our family system in a different way. So, me being a battered child, what did I get? Sure, I got pain, grief, blah, blah, blah. That's a given. What else did I get? I got tenacity, courage, fearlessness, commitment to thrive, a fire in my belly that couldn't be put out. I couldn't be extinguished by my parents, even though that's what I feel they wanted. So, what are the positives? Somehow the human spirit thrives with adversity. And I think if it doesn't thrive, it dies. So I think the adversity fuels our success, our drive, our willingness to challenge any negative to make it positive. Look at it on a universal level: you could say dark matter, behind me, between the stars. Is the negative a necessary catalyst to push into the positive? That's like the mulch. The negative is the mulch. I'm going to make a change. I'm going to do something. Boom. I'm going to get proactive, and then you make the change. But it took the negative to stimulate your impetus to make that change and let go of something that didn't serve you.

Somehow the human spirit thrives with adversity.

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Kathi: Yeah. Absolutely. It's contrast. Contrast makes you expand. If you don't have any contrast, you're just not going to expand.

Gary: You'll be neutral. You'll be floundering.

Kathi: Yeah. You'll be floundering, and it'll be completely boring anyhow. So what's the most memorable moment in your career so far? Tell me.

Gary: Oh my God. I have hundreds. Hundreds.

Kathi: Looking back at your life, if you had to tell your 18-year-old self something, what would you tell him right now, knowing what you know?

Gary: Don't worry, you'll do good things.

Don't worry, you'll do good things.

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Kathi: Yeah, that's good.

Gary: My whole life, just personally, I felt lost, like I didn't know what to do. I've had many different careers: restaurant business, factory worker, restaurant business. Then I ended up doing stand-up comedy. That really floated my boat, and I committed. It's a good 10-year commitment. It didn't work out. Not to mention that I didn't have the skills of public speaking from stand-up comedy. I sure did. But then it led to massage. I said, I give up. I'm a masochist at heart. I'll do something till I beat a dead horse. I said, I'm not going to get discovered in LA. Let me change gears. And I became a massage therapist. I was written up in magazines, and then I discovered that I had this other talent. And then when I discovered constellations, I said, well, I can't do massage forever, so I'd better morph into a facilitator thing. But when I look backwards now, there was a theme, a healing theme, going on since I was 23 years old. But I didn't think of myself that way, on a healing path. I thought, I'm floundering. I don't know what I'm doing this lifetime. Oh my God, when I hit 30, I was very depressed. I said, my God, my life's half over, and I don't even know what my career is yet, outside of working for other people. And then once I hit 40, I said, okay, so be it. I didn't discover my purpose this lifetime. Then right before 50, I discovered constellations. Everything fell into place. All the skills I was working on just added to my toolbox. And then writing books, all the insights I get for humanity and pain and wisdom. So it's given me tremendous wisdom, and I couldn't be happier with that.

Kathi: What I think is interesting is that the people I speak with who have found their dharma, so to speak, or found purpose, all their life experiences have led up to it. All the life experiences are the toolkits they now use to do what they're doing. I'm a case in point. Everyone I interview is a case in point that's doing their purpose, when they feel like they're where they should be, doing what they should be doing. It all culminates from all the past jobs.

Gary: Absolutely. But I couldn't see it while I was on the journey, and now I can see how it all fits together. And this is just one part. When I die, I'm on the spiritual exploration. God knows where I'm going to go when I leave this earth. But I think I'm also developing those tools for the next lifetime.

Kathi: Well, speaking of organizing, you can't get away without talking to me about how you stay organized yourself, with your life and appointments.

Gary: I'm a one-man show. Well, no, I have a web designer, graphic designer. I have lots of ancillary help around me because of these images and stuff, and I find images. Do you know you can always use the NASA images for free, because our tax dollars paid for it?

Kathi: Oh, that's interesting.

Gary: Yeah. So it's always free if you give NASA credit. So when I did my oracle cards, Constellation oracle cards, which are on Amazon, most lazy people would use one galaxy. We used 72 galaxies for each card and had it roll over the front, with the healing words on the front of the card. What was the question again? I'm sorry.

Kathi: How do you stay organized? Do you have any secret weapon?

Gary: Well, I have Constant Contact for the CRM, the customer management, Constant Contact emails. I really am a one-person show, and it's big. I'm doing a thing in LA on September 16th, so they organized it for me down there, but I have my email list of LA clients. So I do my marketing and promotion, because I personally like the personal touch. I've been to the depths of their soul, the depths of their pain. I have people come up to me: I met you five years ago. We did this five-minute exercise. My life has changed the past five years because you took five minutes with me. And I said, wow, I just was being present with what you needed.

Kathi: That's fantastic.

Gary: It doesn't have to take hours and hours and sessions and sessions. I always hit the nail on the head. I say, if you want to screw around, go with someone else. If you want to go for the jugular and start your new life, I'm the person for you. Let's do it. You're coming here because you're tired of suffering. So let's get to the bottom of the suffering. Give it back to who it really belongs to. 90% of the pain we carry is not ours. I put that on my website, Gary Stuart Healing. We're carrying someone else's pain that they didn't resolve in their lifetime. And there's almost like a soul guilt, that we have to heal the people who came before because they got a raw deal. So we've got to carry the raw deal forward. How dare we be happy? And I found out I was Jewish. So there's a whole other family secret that came out 18 years into facilitation. Ironically, from Lithuania. Talk about full circle. Back to the top of the show: was I repping my own great-great-grandfather that I never knew existed, from Lithuania?

Kathi: Interesting. And it's Gary Stuart.

Gary: S-T-U-A-R-T. Not the E-W one. But ironically, my ancestors were E-W. I think a census person in New England, when they migrated from Scotland, just changed the spelling. So about 1800, it all changed to S-T-U, but for centuries, I've got back 600 years in Scotland. So funny. The Stewart clan in Scotland. Famous clan, actually.

Kathi: Wow. Okay. So I know you have something to offer the listeners here.

Gary: Well, I have a bow card. Should I paste it in or just send it to you by email?

Kathi: A what card?

Gary: It's called a bow and release card. Like I was just talking about, letting the pain of your ancestors go. It's a simple card that has four instructions to do it. Thank you for giving me life. I leave your problems with you. I love and appreciate you. I wouldn't be alive without your suffering. Honor them, and then you bow to them with gratitude. Then you turn around and walk away. So many people feel like a weight's been lifted off their shoulders. Do you want me to put it in the chat or just email you after?

Kathi: They need to have a download link for it. So just send me the download link.

Gary: Yeah, it's on my website under bow card, but I'll forward it to you as soon as we're done so you can add it.

Kathi: Awesome. And then what I'll do is I'll publish it underneath the show notes for us.

Gary: Yeah. It's great. It works every time. I made a beautiful graphic of the universe, a similar graphic to what's behind me now. It's really beautiful, and it's so effective. And it doesn't just have to be your ancestors. I've got a boss at work that's driving me crazy. He's all over me every day. Joe Schmo, your personal problems aren't mine. I'm an employee. I leave the stress of what you're doing with you. I'm turning around and walking away. And I cannot tell you how many people have seen a change in those people by doing it. I can't tell you how many people, families who were never told about the constellation work, said my family was totally different when I saw them again. So when we evolve one drop in the ocean, we're evolving the whole ocean. When one person gets to the bottom of the pain, this is the root pain in our family, I've released it in me, it's released. I personally believe seven generations back and seven generations forward. So we're really at what I call the point of power. And when we take charge and use that point of power, it affects all realities, all dimensions simultaneously.

When we evolve one drop in the ocean, we're evolving the whole ocean.

Kathi: How did you come up with seven? Because I know that our body changes every seven years. What's the deal with the seven?

Gary: Native Americans say seven generations. Of course, we're a thousand generations, but generally, for our time frame, we're lucky if we know our great-grandparents, which would be two generations, possibly three. Most people only knew their grandparents, or maybe their great-grandparents died when they were babies. So Native Americans, I think, coined the term seven generations. Native Americans said whatever you do now, today, will reflect seven generations, both directions.

Kathi: Yeah. My husband's working on a project called the Hundred-Year Rule. What can you do today that will leave a positive imprint on the world a hundred years from now?

Gary: Absolutely. And I feel that same way. That's why I do what I do, because I want someone to be able to transform pain into happiness. And it's not to diminish people by saying, oh yeah, be happy, pretend it doesn't exist. No, let's go to the depth of the pain and transform it. Like we said at the beginning, the yin and yang: the dark negative pushes into the positive. A lot of people are stuck in the dark negative, but we push it forward so it evolves into the positive, because they're interconnected.

Kathi: Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thank you for your time. My head's always going like that after I speak with you, every time. So thank you. Thank you for showing your expertise and your heart. And for those of you who want to get in touch with Gary, go to garystuart.com.

Gary: Oh, healing. garystuarthealing.com.

Kathi: Yeah. And then go to the back slash for the card, and we'll put that link down below.

Gary: Yeah, I'll send it to you right now.

Kathi: Thanks, Gary. Have a good one.

Gary: Oh, absolutely. Wonderful. Thank you very much, Kathi.

Kathi: Absolutely. Until next week, you guys. We will see you then.