How to Solve Your Upper Limit Problems with Karen Abrams

Kathi: Hi everyone. I am back and I'm so very excited today because we're going to talk to a Master Theta Healer. You heard me in the intro, but Karen is the real deal and we're going to talk a lot about that. But I want to start out as usual to talk about your backstory, Karen. And first off, welcome to the show.

Karen: Thank you so much. I am so honored to be here. I'm looking forward to having fun with you today.

Kathi: Let's play. Let's play. So talk to me a little bit about your backstory. Tell the people what you do and how you got here.

Karen: Okay. I know it is a big one, but that's okay.

Kathi: So talk to me. I know you're a Master Theta Healer. For those who don't know what this is, explain what this is and how this works.

Karen: Okay. So Theta Healing is a simple meditation that just allows you to connect to your inner wisdom, source, whatever that name is for you, and to your subconscious mind at the same time, so that we can divine together, through intuition and discussion, what are the bottom beliefs that are going on for you that are stopping you in your tracks, that are holding you back. So: I'm nothing. I'm worthless. I'm unlovable. Nothing ever works for me. How about the one, everybody passes me by? Those sorts of bottom beliefs that really get to us and steer us into the rails. And with your permission, we can actually shift those energetically, and then we can also access inside your subconscious mind all of those trapped emotions that you had from your lifetime. They've been inherited. They might be from the collective, might be from our past lives. They can be from all over the place. But they're there and they're messing with you, and they've been inside of you way too long. And so when you go into that theta brainwave state, your mind can actually talk to your body and you can release these trapped emotions, like trauma and anger and bitterness, and replace them with love and compassion and understanding.

Karen: And what happens is when you can transform your most damaging beliefs, your most negative beliefs, into your most powerful and positive ones, and also release these old emotions that have become toxic because they've been there for too long and replace them with your most supportive ones, you just start feeling better and lighter. You start making decisions in support of yourself, and the dynamics in your relationships begin to change in a loving way, in your favor. And most importantly, I think they're all important, but most importantly, from this you can have inspired action, because all of a sudden all of those walls and those barriers that are between you and being able to take the actions you need to take drop down, so that you're able to move forward in a new and powerful way. Maybe something that you've never done before, at a clip that you've never done before, and at a strength and a power that you've never experienced before inside of yourself. It's really fun.

All of a sudden all of those walls and those barriers that are between you and being able to take the actions you need to take drop down.

Share this quote on X

Kathi: I think that's fantastic, and we work on both different levels of energetics. I remove the muck that makes people stuck. You remove the muck in people's mental. And I think by uncovering, when you go into the deep process that you do with your clients, they see what was stuck there that they didn't even know was talking to them subconsciously. I think that's such phenomenal work. So how did you jump into that? What was the progression of your career? When did you start out as a solopreneur? How did it work for you? Because a lot of the people that are listening to the show are also solopreneurs. They might have staff. They might even be thinking about switching into something else. So talk to me a little bit about how that progressed for you and how your career happened.

Karen: Okay. Sure. With this work, I had a business before this where I taught kids how to study effectively. So essentially the same business, because you've got to find clients and you're working for yourself and you've got to be out there and you've got to do all those sorts of things. And I always felt like that was like a B+. I loved it. I loved the work I was doing. It was connected to my own personal story of knowing how bright I was, but not having a system to attach it to. So I had a lot of that, but I also felt at the same time like I hadn't hit my A yet. I hadn't hit my A game. I was almost there, but I wasn't quite there.

Karen: And then I watched a friend of mine transform her life in what I thought to be a very short period of time. She had things in all the areas of her life. She was in a long-term relationship that wasn't going where she wanted it to go. And she wasn't making the money that she could have made based on the fact that she already had an MBA from an Ivy League school, and all of her colleagues, all of the people that she went to school with, were making like $400,000. And this was in the 2000s, when $400,000 was even more than it is now. I saw her transform the relationship into this friendship that it really was at that point in time without having to go through drama or pain or anything, which I'd never seen before that moment. And then she started making money. She stopped sabotaging herself. She stopped having these knockdown, drag-out fights with her clients and her boss. And all of a sudden, everything was flowing in the right direction. And the money thing is actually what got me, because that was the thing I was having the most challenge with.

Karen: And so she had been working with Theta Healing's founder, Vianna Stibal. Vianna was coming to town, to Los Angeles, and my friend was hosting her, and I took the basic Theta Healing class and just watched her work with people in this way that I'd always wanted to be able to do. And so it was like, oh, I want to do that. That's really cool. It was a three-day event. And I got home and I remember that Monday feeling like I could breathe in a way, very deeply, very calmly, feeling like I had space in front of me that I didn't know wasn't there beforehand.

Karen: And at this point, I'd had anxiety for six years. And I'd been going to a therapist, working with him for a year and a half. We had done amazing work together. He was incredible at what he did and what we did together, and we got it down really low. And yet there was this one part that I couldn't seem to penetrate through, which meant that I was still waking up in the morning startled every morning, and my heart was beating through my chest the whole day long. And I don't say that with hyperbole at all. It really was what was on my mind at every moment, because any second that it went away, I would just find it again and it would just start. So I couldn't stop myself if I noticed. And so in that moment of all that space and that freedom of movement, I realized that my anxiety was gone. And it was the first time in six years that my body had been out of fight or flight. And I just flipped out, because usually right at that moment was when it all came back, and nothing happened. I could still breathe. I was like, "Oh my gosh."

Karen: And so I flipped out. I didn't even know how to describe this work to anyone. And I signed up for classes and practice classes, put everything on my credit card. I didn't care. I was single then. I didn't have a family. I wasn't married. And I just went for it and dove in. And a few weeks later, some of those symptoms of the anxiety came back. But by this point, I was really gathering steam and momentum and learning how to do this work. So I just kept chipping away at it. And at some point, I can't even tell you when, I don't think it was very long at all, I stopped noticing that I was anxious. And so that thing that was on the top of my list for six years just flew off of it, and another thing came up to work on, but it was no longer that anymore. And I never thought, even though the work that I had done had helped me so much, I just thought, well, I'm just going to have this the rest of my life and I'm just going to have to deal with it at this level, and it'll just be what it'll be. And I was wrong, happily. And I've just moved from there on into this really happy life that I'm really, really satisfied with and happy about.

Kathi: Isn't that funny how the universe responds? So you just did a weekend retreat and right away you had relief. I think that things happen instantaneously when they're right on track of where you're supposed to be, and obviously you felt called to that. So talk to me about a client that you've actually helped get through the process. Tell me a quick little story about what was before, what happened during, and then where is this client now?

Karen: Okay. So I still work with him when he comes in. I work with people in different ways. Some people come regularly, like a therapist; they'll just come. Some people come one-off or project based: this is going on, I just want to work on this, and when I'm done, I'll see you when I see you. So this client of mine is a financial planner, and he's been somebody who was project based, and he had hit this income ceiling. And I call those upper limit problems. You hit this income ceiling or something. It could be emotional, it could be physical or whatever, and you don't know how to break through. And so we got to the root of what was going on from his past, because the examples of what were going on at work were similar to the childhood stories and those sorts of things. So we got down to those original wounds and were able to help him heal them and just open that up for him.

Karen: And after that he started attracting the kind of clients that he really wanted, which were the seven- and eight-figure clients who wanted to invest with him. So his income went up. It just boosted up. And then more recently, he secured a deal to buy somebody else's practice. So now he's doubling his income from there. And this was all deep emotional and energetic work. It wasn't like we went, "Okay, look at your spreadsheets and what you need to do." This was about who he was being and how to change that so that he could attract what it was that he really desired. And now he's really receiving it, and it's just so amazing to watch and be witness to.

This was about who he was being and how to change that so that he could attract what it was that he really desired.

Share this quote on X

Kathi: And it's shattering repeating patterns. I think that's so important in your work too, because we have a lot of repeating patterns that we don't even know are there. So obviously this gentleman, and it's funny when you said that, he had it happening in his career, and it was like a repeat of what had happened in his childhood. So for those of you listening out there, if you find yourself continually stuck and seeing the same type of people or the same type of situations, it might be time to reset your patterning, for sure. So whenever you have this big breakthrough for your life or for your client, how do you celebrate your successes? Do you have a little ritual, or what do you do?

Karen: I always say it's two things. It's ice cream and a victory dance. Two of my favorite things I like to do. I'm just like, yes. This is so funny, I was just thinking about this. There was a World Series way back when I was a sophomore in college, and it was the Dodgers, and I'm a Los Angeles girl, and Kirk Gibson hits the home run in the bottom of the ninth. It was so Hollywood. His ankle is messed up and he can't even stand on it, and he's up there, and it's the bottom of the ninth, three and two, something like that. He was just about to strike out, and he hits a home run, and he's running, and it was just so remarkable. It gave me the chills. It still gives me the chills when I think about it. And as he was running around the bases, he was going like this: Yes. Yes. Just like bringing it in, bringing it in. And I never forgot that. And so every time somebody has a breakthrough like that, I just go back into that, like rounding the bases after the home run in the bottom of the ninth. I'm not even a baseball player. I played Little League when I was in sixth grade, and I struck out most of the time.

Karen: So yeah, that's what I do. Or I like to just find the people I love, give them high fives, and give my clients big hugs, because I can't do this work for anybody. I'm really the person who's in the background creating that space. I think that all healers, and you can see if you agree with me or not, the best healers out there are really just creating this really big space between the client or the person, you and God or you and the universe, whatever you believe that energy to be. And you do the work. And so, is there a process I go through? Absolutely. It's different being in my office than anybody else's, or being on the phone with me than anybody else. But I do believe that they're doing most of the work. I'm just back here in the cheering section, trying to work things from the back end.

The best healers out there are really just creating this really big space.

Share this quote on X

Kathi: Yeah. A couple things I absolutely love. The yes, actually a physical thing about a celebration, just to cement it, and then do whatever you want to do. I also love the fact that you said that you create the space for the client, and it's true. Our clients are the ones that do the work. Ironically, my very first company as a pro organizer was called Add Space to Your Life. And space is so very important to me. Everybody needs space, because if you don't have space, you really can't do the work that you need to do, on the physical or the mental or the emotional level. Everyone needs space. So I'm a big space proponent. Okay. So speaking of space, as a pro organizer, I have to ask you, what's your favorite organizing hack? What do you call upon that really serves you to keep yourself organized on a day-to-day or month-to-month basis, or whatever?

Karen: Okay, so actually I guess it's not so much of a hack or anything, but it's really like you have to know where you're going to get there. What do they say? A dream without a plan is just a wish. So I like to go out and say, let's go out for a year. You can have your five-year plan, that's fine, but you can just go out to a year and go, what do I want in the next 12 months to happen for me? What do I want? And you don't have to have all the answers. You just have to know what you want, and then reverse engineer to your monthly goals, and then reverse engineer to your weekly goals, and then to your daily goals. And I do that a lot, because if I just go and do what's right in front of me, like sharpen my pencil and pay my bills, I'll never get anywhere. At the end of the day I might feel really good, but then you end up going, "Gee, why aren't I where I want to go?" And time is precious. I don't know about you, but I'm really feeling that now. And so we really need to keep our eyes on the prize and just create those goals.

Karen: And that was definitely something in my 20s, and not as much in my 30s, but definitely my 20s: I was really scared to set goals, because I think I was so afraid of failure that I didn't want to fail. And the truth is that the moment that you're afraid of failure, understand that you've already experienced it, that you already feel like a failure. And really what you're saying is, I don't want to feel that again. I don't want to go back to that thing that's probably just right there, just waiting for you to heal it, but it just sits there.

The moment that you're afraid of failure, understand that you've already experienced it.

Karen: So yeah, I love the goal thing. Now, I've always been a very big proponent in my adult years of lists. I love lists. My mom used to have these teeny tiny pieces of paper with her name on them, and then she would write her list for the day of what she was doing. And I used to think, "God, that's so yucky. Ew, who would like that?" And then when I hit my 20s, I went, "Oh, no. This is really fun." It's so satisfying to cross something off your list. Very visceral, isn't it?

Kathi: Love the cross-off. And what a great example, too, for her to show you that you're actually doing it, that she actually had her little pieces of paper and she planned her day. My father had the little notebook in his pocket, the little timer, and he'd write everything that he was going to do and all of his schedules and stuff. I think it's funny that the thing that we are like, ugh, is what we learn and what we actually become from our parents. Like, why is she doing that, or why does my dad carry around this stupid little notebook? And of course, now we can't live without it. So whenever you go to plan and forecast your year in advance, is this written? Do you write it on a pad? Do you put it in a planner? What type of medium do you use for your pre-planning?

Karen: I have a book that I put these things in. I put them in different places. Sometimes I'll have it just in a document, like yearly goals, and then I can go down there. But I really like to write. I'm looking around for a pen, because I just wanted to say that I love writing. It's so immediately rewarding, and I think that's the way that you really learn. You don't learn from typing, even when it's in a computer. But I do like seeing it up there, because on a document you can rearrange it and you can move things from here and there. But I love having the goals written down. I have a book that I look at them in, so I can have a little tab that I know I can always go back to. And I also know that they're not written in stone. If I want to change what I want, I can change all of these things, because it's not really going to take that long to do it. It's not like when I was younger; I probably would have been like, "Oh, forget it. I'm not doing that. Blah, blah, blah. I've got a million years left in my life." And I think one of the gifts of getting older is that you realize how precious time is, because you see other people who were the age that you were that didn't make it past that age for reasons that were well beyond their control. So you just go, "Oh, I have whatever time I have, and that's wonderful, and I'm really grateful for it." And let's get this puppy up and running.

Kathi: Yeah, your rebel self. It's so funny as you say that. At every podcast, actually every point in my life, I'm like, "Okay, I've got to put the pen down, Kathi. Don't hold the pen." I'm always holding the pen. I'm always writing, because as a tactile learner myself, writing just really helps solidify in my brain what the heck I was trying to say or trying to remember or even think about. Writing it is huge. So we're twin sisters on that one. So, okay, speaking of the rebel self, what would you tell your 18-year-old self right now if you could think back and say, "Hey girl, this is what you need to know"? What is it that you would tell her?

Karen: I would say that you have to be your best friend. Everyone else in the outside world, for the most part, is going to treat you the way you treat yourself, because who you are being is going to be reflected by the universe and the people that you bring in. And so if you are dismissive of yourself, if you are insecure about yourself, look, these are things we grow through. We all have issues. There's not somebody out there who doesn't. I still have issues. We all do. We're just working through them when we're growing. So you have to be your biggest supporter, because then your life is going to change, because the support is going to come from the outside in. Also, it has to come from inside out and outside in, because, and I'm sure you know this by now too, you can be your own worst enemy.

Everyone else in the outside world, for the most part, is going to treat you the way you treat yourself.

Karen: Most of the things that you're going to do to improve in your life, like to take a class or work with a coach, they're literally talking you out of your negative talk to yourself. And they're saying, "You can do this." And we're like, "Well, I hope I can. I hope I can. I don't know if I can. I probably can't, but I'm going to try." And they're like, "No, you can. I'm there. I know you're here. Let's go. I know the way out. We can do this together." And so I would definitely do that. I would just say it's going to be okay, and you've got to be your best friend, because we need that ally from the inside out in order for us to be able to create a happy life. You can create another kind of life another way. But if you want a happy one, start there.

Kathi: I love that. Be your own support group and be your best cheerleader. I think we do listen to ourselves more than we think we do, and so the self-talk within us is so very important to evaluate, and to just cheerlead ourselves on. And one thing that I found is when I find myself thinking that I'm being judged, it's about me, actually, when I'm judging myself. So yeah, I think that's super important. Be your own cheerleader. I love that. Okay, so I know that you have something to offer the audience, and I'm so excited to hear what it is that you can provide for them. I'm sure they're waiting to hear, too.

Karen: Oh, okay. So I work with people on healing their upper limit issues, and that could be in finances, that could be in your relationship, your health, whatever it is in your life, finding that there are some voices inside of you that are telling you that you're not enough, that you're less than, that you're insecure. Those voices are also telling you to wait for the other shoe to drop. And those were very important things that we needed ancestrally, because we could be attacked by an animal, and we could be attacked by another tribe member or another person. And so we needed to stay safe and prepare for the worst in order for us to be able to survive. But now we're somewhere where we can thrive. Even in all the stuff that's going on in this world right now that we think is so different from any other time in history, people are thriving. There are a lot of people here who are still thriving. There are a lot of people who pivoted and are thriving. And the way they can do that is by taking that negative self-speak and turning it around.

Karen: I have a class that I teach called Turning Your Inner Bully into Your Best Friend. And so what I'm offering to you right now, what you can have for free, is this Theta Healing meditation, which is just energetic downloads to help you soothe your inner critic and help create positive messages instead of holding on to those negative ones. And I always suggest that you do this at night. I call it an evening meditation, to enhance the advice of doing it at night, because whatever it is that you do at the end of the evening before you go to sleep marinates in your subconscious for another seven or eight hours, however long you're asleep. So you might as well get the most bang for your free buck. So this one is called Healing Your Inner Critic. It's a really brief Theta Healing meditation that's just geared to help you heal that inner critic and move into that place of completely supporting yourself, to build yourself a really happy and abundant life.

Kathi: That's a huge gift, and I'm going to listen to it tonight for sure. I love ending my day with gratitude. I'm excited. So everybody, make sure to download that. I think that's going to be really good for you, to help remove your blocks, and that's very generous. Thank you.

Karen: You're so welcome. It's such an honor to be here. This is so much fun.

Kathi: Yeah, I know. We're having some fun, and I didn't know we had such parallel lives here.

Karen: I know. Very cool.

Kathi: What's the one thing that I should have asked? Have we missed anything that you really want to talk about? I always want to ask my guests that, because maybe there was something burning on your mind, or something you have upcoming, or anything at all that you want to speak about.

Karen: I think you actually said it. I think that people have to find what works for them, because everybody's deck is different, and the way you shuffle it is different. And so someone may be looking at what I do and think, "Wow, that's really great." And some people might look at it and go, "I like this other thing instead." And so I always say, find the stories that relate to you and the healing journeys that relate to you. And so we shared about the financial planner. I can give you another example, of a relationship issue that I thought was really poignant, that I thought I could share with you, which was about a married couple who were just in this really tough place in their life, where they were so disappointed and angry with each other that they would trigger each other, and they couldn't get through a day without fighting. And they had a child, so the kid was in between this, which was really tough. They were going through a lot of stuff.

Karen: So I worked with them separately on what were the wounds that were being triggered by the other spouse. And when we healed those wounds, when they healed those wounds, they weren't triggered there anymore. So if that spouse said something, unconsciously or consciously, to try to dig at the other person, nothing happened. And what was so great, since both of them were doing the work, they found more compassion for themselves and for each other. And it really saved their marriage, and then saved their family, because they became once again this tight little happy unit that is still thriving to this day, both with their businesses and their lives together. So that always just makes me really happy.

Kathi: Yeah, what a blessing. And I think it's so important that you worked individually with each person, because really we have to work on our own stuff. We're the ones that are getting triggered. It's our story. We think it's the spouse laying it on us, but no, it's our story that we need to really reconcile and eliminate. And oh, what a great blessing for the child as well.

Karen: Yeah. It was really, really neat.

Kathi: Well, this has been a pleasure. I really so appreciate having you on the show, and I've enjoyed our conversation. Make sure to download that meditation, gang. I'm literally going to do it tonight and enjoy that. And for those of you who have enjoyed this interview and you want to learn how to organize your life and simplify your life, make sure to download my gift as well. If you like us, love us, share this podcast. Spread the love. We would love that, and I would so appreciate it, just like I appreciate having you on the show. So thanks so much, Karen. It's been a pleasure.

Karen: And thank you. It's been such an honor to be here.

Kathi: We will see all of you soon.