Episode 46
with Brigette Sobus, founder and CEO of The Power and Joy Coaching Academy · September 21, 2022 · 20 min
Brigette Sobus is a former award-winning salon owner who now runs The Power and Joy Coaching Academy, where she trains and certifies coaches.
She grew her salon 30 to 40 percent a year in its first few years after a coaching consultant helped her put job descriptions, compensation structures and a better way to run team meetings in place.
After a divorce, $1.3 million of debt, bankruptcy and breast cancer, Brigette says buying her salon back from the bankruptcy trustee was an ego-driven decision she would not make again.
Her free ebook covers the three biggest blocks that keep coaching and consulting businesses from exponential growth, which in her experience come from limiting beliefs and emotions rather than missing systems.
Published · Updated
What is this episode about?
Kathi Burns talks with Brigette Sobus, founder and CEO of The Power and Joy Coaching Academy, about what gets in the way when you try to grow a coaching business. Brigette started as a master certified colorist, bought the salon she worked in, and was crying through team meetings until she hired a coaching consultant. With job descriptions, compensation structures and better meetings in place, the salon grew 30 to 40 percent a year in its early years and was named a top 200 salon in North America for 13 years in a row. Then came a divorce, $1.3 million of debt, bankruptcy and breast cancer. You'll hear why she wishes she had let the salon go instead of buying it back, how she put down her people-pleasing crown, why the best advice she got was not to take things personally, and what her academy teaches.
Sometimes your mind can start hijacking you into making decisions that aren't really aligned with your passion on where you're going.Brigette Sobus
Jump to links and resources · Part of How do I grow my business without burning out? · All episodes · Every guest
What are the key takeaways?
- Brigette turned her struggling salon around by putting systems in place: job descriptions, compensation structures and a way to run team meetings.
- Looking back, Brigette says buying her business back from the bankruptcy trustee was driven by ego, and her view is that she should have let it go and started something new.
- Even with handbooks and job descriptions in place, Brigette struggled to say no or hold boundaries until she worked through the limiting beliefs behind her people pleasing.
- The best advice Brigette received was not to take things personally, because how people behave has more to do with them than with you.
- Brigette says a trigger usually points to something inside you that wants to be healed.
- The Power and Joy Coaching Academy offers four certifications (NLP coach, NLP practitioner, Time Line Therapy and hypnosis) through a seven-day course, plus a master's course for graduates.
- In Brigette's experience, clients often know which systems to put in place, but limiting beliefs and emotions slow down how quickly they implement them.
This episode is brought to you by the Business Logjam Session
A private 75-minute online session with Kathi Burns to find the one thing holding your business back and leave with your next steps. It is the same F.L.O.W. process Kathi uses with her own clients: Focus on your goals, Locate your logjams, Outline your solutions, Walk away knowing your next steps.
Find What's Holding Me BackInterested in sponsoring the show? Get in touch.How did Brigette Sobus go from salon owner to business coach?
Brigette became a coach after a coaching consultant turned her own salon around. She bought the salon she worked in, then struggled until she hired help and put job descriptions, compensation structures and better team meetings in place. The salon grew 30 to 40 percent a year, so she started coaching other business owners.
Should you buy your business back from bankruptcy?
Brigette's own answer, looking back, is no. When her salon went into bankruptcy, she negotiated with the trustee and paid a hefty amount to buy it back because, as she puts it, her ego said she would lose it on her terms. She calls that one of her biggest lessons, and her view now is to let it go and start a new one. She later sold the salon.
How can I stop being a people pleaser?
Brigette stopped people pleasing by working through the limiting beliefs and negative emotions behind it. She wore what she calls a Pollyanna pleaser crown and couldn't say no, because she didn't want people upset with her or leaving her. Handbooks didn't fix it; NLP and Time Line Therapy helped her finally set boundaries.
Why shouldn't you take things personally in business?
Because how people behave has more to do with them than with you. That was the best advice Brigette was given: everyone has their own way of thinking and behaviors built up over the years. Kathi adds that when someone points a finger at you, three fingers point back at them, and Brigette sums it up as perception is projection. She also says that when someone triggers you, it usually points to something in you that wants to heal.
Do coaches need their own coach?
Yes, according to Brigette: therapists have therapists, and coaches have coaches. Her hardest year was 2019, when she was trying to buy her salon back and ignored mentors who told her to let it go. At the end of that year she put her ego aside, reached out to one of her very first mentors, and went back to hiring people a few steps ahead of her.
What does the Power and Joy Coaching Academy teach?
The academy trains and certifies people in four areas: NLP coach, NLP practitioner, Time Line Therapy and hypnosis. Brigette runs it as a seven-day certification course with continuing education hours through the International Coaching Federation, and she also offers a master's course. Outside the academy she does private one-on-one coaching and consulting, mostly with women entrepreneurs who feel stuck, burnt out or overwhelmed.
What should you do if you resent your own business?
Find the part of the business that is bumming you out, and hand it off. Kathi says a business is supposed to bring you joy and freedom, so if you feel burned out and resentful, watch your week for the tasks you hate. If bookkeeping drives you insane, job it out: delegate, delegate, delegate. Brigette describes the same feeling as dragging anger or fear behind you like a ball and chain.
Why is it hard to grow a coaching business even with good systems?
Brigette says limiting beliefs and emotions get in the way. As a consultant for over a decade, she could teach clients which systems to put in place, but their beliefs slowed down how fast they used them. She now works at the unconscious level with NLP, Time Line Therapy and hypnosis, where she says those beliefs live.
Where does each part of the conversation start?
- 0:00 Meet Brigette Sobus
- 0:33 From master colorist to salon owner
- 1:38 Systems that grew her salon
- 2:55 Divorce, debt and bankruptcy
- 4:30 Don't buy your business back
- 6:29 The people-pleasing crown
- 7:48 Staff or subcontractors?
- 7:59 Don't take it personally
- 9:28 Notice your triggers
- 9:52 Letting go of ego and asking for help
- 11:15 Inside the Power and Joy Coaching Academy
- 12:15 Letting go of anger
- 12:53 When you resent your own business
- 14:29 The three biggest blocks
- 15:41 Living fully through breast cancer
- 17:37 Wrap-up
What resources were mentioned?
- The 3 Biggest Blocks to Your Coaching Business Success (free ebook by Brigette Sobus)
- The Power and Joy Coaching Academy
- International Coaching Federation
These episodes continue the same thread as this one: Lia Dunlap, Carly Church, Ginny Priem, Stephanie Wall Morrow also answer the question "How do I grow my business without burning out?", and the rest are the most recent conversations on the show.
MotherhoodEpisode 147How To Build a Village That Supports Your Business and Your Life with Carly Church
See every episode on the podcast archive or filter by topic on the How do I grow my business without burning out? hub.
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- Work with Kathi. The Business Logjam Session is a private 75-minute session to find what is holding your business back.
- Be a guest. Apply here if you have a story about clearing the obstacles in your business.
What did they say, word for word?
The transcript below is edited for readability: filler words and false starts are removed and speaker names are added. Nothing was added or summarized.
Read the full transcript +
Kathi: Hi everyone. I'm back with Brigette Sobus and I'm so excited to get started and talk about joy and talk about power and talk about all the things that Brigette wants to talk about. So first let me start by saying welcome, Brigette. Welcome to Organized and Energized! The Podcast.
Brigette: Well, thank you so much for having me, Kathi. It is an honor and a privilege.
Kathi: Yeah, we're going to have some fun today. So I always like to start out: this podcast is for entrepreneurs to feel that they're not alone. Let's talk about a little bit of your journey and how you got to where you are right now. So give me some background on Brigette.
Brigette: Okay. So background is I started my career out in the salon and spa industry. I became a master certified colorist. I worked for lots of different types of businesses, everywhere from very strong corporate strict to middle to the chaotic mess businesses that are out there. And I was working in a pretty dysfunctional salon and I was making a six-figure income, and I thought, if he can open a salon and run one, there's no reason why I can't. And I believe a lot of people have that thought. And then I jumped the gun. I had the opportunity to buy his salon.
Kathi: Oh.
Brigette: And then I bought it. And then I quickly realized I had no idea what I was doing either as a salon owner. My six-figure paycheck was going back into the business just to keep the doors open. And if you knew me 17 years ago, back then I was a crying hot mess trying to lead a team meeting. And then I hired a coaching consultant, which led me to become a coaching consultant. The things that I learned were putting systems in place, everything from job descriptions to compensation structures to how to run a team meeting without crying. And then I was growing my business by 30 to 40% the first few years I had it. I became an award-winning salon in North America, top 200 salon, for 13 years in a row. And because of that work, working with a coach and consultant, that's how I decided to become a coach and consultant for other entrepreneurs and business owners and leaders.
Kathi: Yeah, it's funny. We go through a lot of transitions in our life until we hit the aha, and we teach what we most need to learn. So the fact that you went through the learning process, got yourself a coach… I always say, and I say it in my book, masters hire masters. The most masterful people in the world will hire others that know a little bit more or a lot more than what they know so that they can move up with their expertise. Yeah. So good for you. Okay. So now you've reinvented yourself. Did you sell the salon, or what happened with that?
Brigette: I did sell the salon. So I have quite a roller coaster of a journey. In the height of it being a million dollars in revenue and being an award-winning business, I found myself going through a really nasty divorce. And that lasted about two years to get through. And then I took on all the debt. And throughout that journey, I found myself in $1.3 million of debt. I had a salon that was producing a million dollars in revenue, and then I found myself in personal debt because of things that I didn't know were going on behind my back. I was managing this side, he was managing the other side, and I've done a lot of forgiveness work on that. So I'm happy I did that forgiveness work. But I decided to file bankruptcy, and then I got breast cancer. And then after going through all of that, I realized that my passion was no longer owning a salon anymore. And sometimes you have to listen to the universe. The universe gives us clues.
Kathi: Yeah.
Brigette: And that is some of the biggest lessons I've learned: really following your heart. Because sometimes, when you get into mindset, sometimes your mind can start hijacking you into making decisions that aren't really aligned with your passion on where you're going. And when I decided to buy my business back from bankruptcy with the trustee, I started becoming really ego-driven, like, I'm not losing my business to bankruptcy. I will lose it on my terms.
Sometimes your mind can start hijacking you into making decisions that aren't really aligned with your passion on where you're going.
Kathi: Yeah.
Brigette: And then I negotiated with the trustee to buy it back, and I had to buy it back for a pretty hefty amount of money. So that would be one thing of advice, if I may just interject. If you happen to find yourself faced with bankruptcy, and I know many successful people that have, because they've reinvented their lives, I would not recommend buying your business back from bankruptcy. Just let it go. Yeah, let it go and start a new one. Yeah, I think that was one of my biggest lessons. And then I did end up selling the salon. I sold it two years ago, actually, last June.
Kathi: Congratulations.
Brigette: Yes. Thank you. So I sold it, and now I do coaching consulting full time and I own the Power and Joy Coaching Academy.
Kathi: Love it. Love it. Because you found your power and you found your joy right back again, even amidst all the turmoil. And I think it's good for everybody listening that we all go through this stuff, right? We all go through something, and then we find our way out. And that's what being an entrepreneur is all about. So if you had to do it over again, you probably wouldn't go back and try to resurrect your business. And I love the fact that you put that in with an ego, because that is an ego thing, right? It's like, oh, I will do it on my own terms. So what else would you shift into faster if you knew what you knew now?
Brigette: If I knew what I knew now… I wore a very beautiful crown that was named Pollyanna pleaser. I was a huge people pleaser, even as an owner and a leader. There was a part of me that really had a hard time saying no to people because I didn't want them to be upset with me or leave me. I had a challenge putting boundaries down, even though I had handbooks in place and job descriptions. And I'd done a lot of work on this in the last probably two years, especially with the work I do now with neuro-linguistic programming and Time Line Therapy. I was able to let those limiting beliefs and negative emotions go that had me get so hooked on people pleasing and setting boundaries down.
Kathi: Yeah. And I think that's one of the hardest parts about being a boss of people. Are you their friend? Are you their boss? What is it? What's that dynamic look like? It's definitely a skill to be learned if you're going to have a lot of people that you hire that are staff. I know it's been a long road for me as well. And so I've decided not to have staff and instead have subcontractors. Works great for me because I'm not a very good boss. So we all come up with the best things that work for us. So what's the best piece of advice that anyone's ever given you, as you flourish now in your coaching career, that someone told you when you were starting on the path?
Brigette: Well, one of the things is you can't take things personally. Everyone's got their own way of thinking, right? They have their own behaviors that they develop throughout the years. And it's not to take things personally, and it's not about you. It has more to do with them.
It's not about you. It has more to do with them.
Kathi: Always, always, always. And that was a big aha moment for me as well. The pointing at you: you have the one finger forward, you have the three fingers back. Anybody that's lashing out at you, it's something about themselves. And that's really good advice for everybody to hear out there. If you tend to get your feelings hurt, stop and think about why and what are they projecting onto you, for sure.
Brigette: Exactly. Perception is projection.
Kathi: Perception is projection, right? That's awesome.
Brigette: Yeah. And I think too, even when you're getting triggered by somebody else, noticing what the trigger really is. And most of the time it means that there's something inside of you that needs to be healed, or is now wanting to be healed, so you can get past that.
Kathi: Yeah, absolutely. Watch out for your triggers. Also very, very good advice. So tell me about a point where you felt really, really chaotic in your business. And what did you do? Were there any systems or secret hacks that you've used as an entrepreneur to find your way back to balance, and systems that work?
Brigette: Yeah. If I was going to be completely transparent, 2019 was probably the biggest challenging year that I had owning the first business that I had. And that was because of being ego-driven and then trying to buy it back within one year for a lot of money. And then I didn't listen to the advice that my mentors were giving me, like, let it go. You're up for a bigger game in life. You had this place for so long. And so I actually decided to put my ego down to the side at the end of 2019 and reach out to one of my very first mentors. And that's when I dove in. I was literally going back into bankruptcy after filing bankruptcy, because that's how much I was trying to fight. But yeah, letting go of my ego and then asking for help, and getting mentors. Therapists have therapists, coaches have coaches. And I just dove back into hiring people, like you said earlier, that are a few steps ahead of me that I can continuously learn and grow from.
Therapists have therapists, coaches have coaches.
Kathi: Yeah, we all have to do that. We all have to have coaches. Always. Because there's always someone who knows more than we do. Let's just put it that way. So talk to me about your academy. What happens when people join the academy? I'm very excited to hear about it. So tell me the system.
Brigette: Yeah. So the Power and Joy Coaching Academy: I have certification programs where I train and certify people in four different certifications: NLP coach, NLP practitioner, Time Line Therapy, and then hypnosis.
Kathi: Really?
Brigette: So I have a seven-day certification course. It's also with the International Coaching Federation. It has continuing education hours for that, because I also belong to the International Coach Federation.
Kathi: Yeah.
Brigette: As a coach. And then I have a master's course as well. And then I do private one-on-one coaching and consulting as well. I do breakthrough work with people on their mindset so they can let go of the negative emotions that have been dragging on behind them like a ball and chain. Anger used to be one that I would drag around, and no one would ever see it. I hid it very well, unless I was telling you the story. So if I told you a story about my bankruptcy or my divorce before this work, I would be all worked up all over again. Now I just talk about it like it was just something that happened.
Kathi: That's true healing.
Brigette: Yeah. So I love working with, especially, women entrepreneurs that have been feeling stuck, burnt out, overwhelmed, possibly resenting their own businesses or professions, to reinvent their mindset to power, joy and profits.
Kathi: Yeah, I love that. If you find yourself resenting your business and something isn't right with the way that you're going about your business… because it is supposed to bring you joy. That's why we're all creating our businesses, right? We create them to bring ourselves joy and freedom. And if you find yourself with the ball and chain, I agree with you, Brigette, totally. You find yourself dragging around something. I love the way you said that: dragging around the fear, dragging around the anger, whatever it is. You don't have joy. You just feel burned out and stressed out and overloaded. So for any of you that are listening out there that are feeling a little bit resentful with your business, stop and take a peek and see what part of it is it that's really bumming you out. And as you go throughout your week, you can see the traces of, ah, yeah, maybe I hate doing that. I tell people that all the time when I'm coaching them. Let's do what brings you joy. Job out the stuff that you hate. If you don't want to do bookkeeping and it freaks you out and bums you out and drives you insane, job it out. That's what it's all about. Delegate. Delegate. Delegate.
Brigette: Yeah.
Kathi: Okay. So I know you have a valuable free resource that you want to offer to the people out there. So let's talk about that a little bit.
Brigette: Yeah. So it's the three biggest blocks that are preventing your coaching or consulting from exponential growth.
Kathi: Awesome.
Brigette: Yeah. So that's what's in my ebook. We're talking about the most common ones for you or your clients. I found as a consultant for over a decade that I could teach a lot of my clients how to put systems in place, and then their limiting beliefs and emotions would get in the way of them implementing it quicker, sooner, faster. Also, being a coach for over a decade, I would experience coaching at a conscious level. Well, now the NLP, Time Line Therapy and hypnosis work works with people at the unconscious level, which is where most of our limiting beliefs and our negative memories live. So then we can release that and then be fully unleashed to live a life of power and joy.
I could teach a lot of my clients how to put systems in place, and then their limiting beliefs and emotions would get in the way of them implementing it.
Kathi: Love it.
Brigette: So that's what my ebook is about.
Kathi: Great. So if you had to write another book tomorrow, what would you write about?
Brigette: Oh jeez, that's such a great question. I think, since I'm in the middle of going through breast cancer for a second time, I would probably write on how to navigate through it. Yes, it stinks that I got it for a second time, but I just believe that mind, body and soul connection is so important. And even in the midst of going through it… I had surgery in February. I just finished almost three and a half months of chemo, and I'm starting radiation July 25th for six weeks. I'm living my best life ever.
Kathi: You look fabulous.
Brigette: I still kept my hair. I did cold capping through chemotherapy. And even going through this, I'm still building a business I love and I'm working with people I love. I'm attracting amazing people in my life. So I would write about how you can really empower yourself and your thoughts, and how you're going to live through what some people would call a traumatic experience.
Kathi: Yeah, you're a living testimony to that. And you are radiant. I mean, you look fantastic. No one would ever know, looking at you, what you've been going through. So yeah, I think it'd be a really powerful book, and I think it would be something that many, many, many people could benefit from. So there's your little idea.
Brigette: Nice. I love it. Thank you.
Kathi: Talk about your hero's journey, your hero and heroine's journey, and how you've come out on the other side from it, because I know that you will. So yay. Cool. Well, I really appreciate you being on the show. Everybody, make sure to download that ebook, because you'll find some really powerful techniques in there that you can use, and call up on Brigette. Or hey, if you want to get certified in coaching, this is also an opportunity to do that. So thank you so much, Brigette, for your time. It's been really, really cool spending some time with you and learning more about your personal journey. You are blessed and you are well and you are whole.
Brigette: Thank you. It was an honor and a privilege to be here. Thanks, Kathi.
Kathi: Yeah, absolutely.
Where can I find the links and resources from this episode?
Connect with Brigette
Organizations and companies
Inspired? Here Are Your Action Steps:
- Write job descriptions and a compensation structure for your team.
- Set a clear way to run your team meetings.
- Hire a coach or mentor who is a few steps ahead of you.
- Before a big decision, ask whether your ego or your passion is making it.
- Notice where you can't say no, and look at the belief behind it.
- When someone lashes out at you, remind yourself it has more to do with them.
- When someone triggers you, notice what the trigger is pointing to in you.
- Track the tasks you resent during your week, and delegate them.
Frequently asked questions
How can I stop being a people pleaser?
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Brigette Sobus says she stopped by working through the limiting beliefs and negative emotions that kept her hooked on pleasing people. Even with handbooks and job descriptions in her salon, she had a hard time saying no. NLP and Time Line Therapy are what helped her let those beliefs go and set boundaries.
What are the root causes of people-pleasing behavior?
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In Brigette's own experience, it came from not wanting people to be upset with her or leave her. She describes it as wearing a Pollyanna pleaser crown, even as an owner and leader. She traces it to limiting beliefs and negative emotions she later let go of.
What systems turned Brigette's salon around?
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Job descriptions, a clear compensation structure and a better way to run team meetings. Learning those systems from her own coaching consultant is what led her to become a coaching consultant herself.
What would Brigette tell someone facing bankruptcy?
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Her view, from her own experience, is not to buy your business back. She negotiated with the bankruptcy trustee to buy her salon back for a lot of money because her ego didn't want to lose it. Looking back, she says she would let it go and start something new.
What's the best advice Brigette has been given?
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Don't take things personally. How people behave has more to do with them than with you. When someone triggers you, notice it, because Brigette says it usually points to something in you that wants to heal.
What does The Power and Joy Coaching Academy teach?
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It certifies coaches in NLP coaching, NLP practice, Time Line Therapy and hypnosis, with continuing education hours through the International Coaching Federation. Brigette also runs a master's course for graduates.
Who is talking in this episode?
About the Host, Kathi Burns
Kathi Burns, CPO®, is a Business FLOW Strategist based in San Diego. For the last 20+ years, Kathi has helped clients create systems they can stick to. She is the author of How to Master Your Muck, Organizing With Tetris and Home Organization, The Smart Guide, and co-author of four more titles; all are in Kathi's shop. Kathi's business has been featured on Good Morning America, and her advice has been featured in Oprah Magazine, Martha Stewart Living, Better Homes and Gardens and Entrepreneur Magazine.
More about Kathi · Shop Kathi's books · Business Logjam Session · Apply to be a guest
About Brigette Sobus
Brigette Sobus is the founder and CEO of The Power and Joy Coaching Academy, where she trains and certifies coaches in NLP coaching, NLP practice, Time Line Therapy and hypnosis, and works one on one with clients, mostly women entrepreneurs. She started her career in the salon and spa industry as a master certified colorist, then bought the salon she worked in. After hiring a coaching consultant and putting systems in place, she grew the business 30 to 40 percent a year in its first few years, and it was named a top 200 salon in North America for 13 years in a row. She has since sold the salon and coaches and consults full time.
Want help putting this into practice?
Book a Business Logjam Session with Kathi
A private 75-minute online session to find the one thing holding your business back and leave with your next steps, using the same F.L.O.W. process Kathi uses with her own clients: Focus on your goals, Locate your logjams, Outline your solutions, Walk away knowing your next steps.
Prefer to start small? Download Kathi's free eBook 6 Steps to Organize & Energize Your Life.
Published · Updated
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